tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19443281921198129562024-03-19T10:43:17.518+08:00拆框工作坊:開放式關係部落格坦誠與知情同意的非一對一關係崔妮http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393668388793008716noreply@blogger.comBlogger258125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-22025349266699360972024-03-19T10:42:00.002+08:002024-03-19T10:42:31.480+08:00【活動分享】愛情駕訓班:解碼情感互動中的奧秘系列活動<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqDUwN4iJP1aPle_u091i-3ZsI1oS-oY9fd6SDgCQC7cuUF89P0utGpZKmtvL1uE54cW_d08tXcXD6Z0ZxbhbeGmRUHYUZ3VMAWBzotDtyxzQ01pXjCs_hSK2C_pPraMx-dNKF-ma7B6TqtBmu9-qRWZBAyJ4DWyzo9wvrJpzKG8koFLrVqesIhuY9pzg/s1440/432369347_122182108256008067_1393035789408651175_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="1440" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqDUwN4iJP1aPle_u091i-3ZsI1oS-oY9fd6SDgCQC7cuUF89P0utGpZKmtvL1uE54cW_d08tXcXD6Z0ZxbhbeGmRUHYUZ3VMAWBzotDtyxzQ01pXjCs_hSK2C_pPraMx-dNKF-ma7B6TqtBmu9-qRWZBAyJ4DWyzo9wvrJpzKG8koFLrVqesIhuY9pzg/w601-h225/432369347_122182108256008067_1393035789408651175_n.jpg" width="601" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">【台灣情感教育協會】由拆框工作坊創辦人崔妮於2020年發起,2021年完成立案,以成人為主要對象,面對民主社會的多元親密關係,學習如何經營適合自己的情感關係~</span></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;">今年正式推出「愛情駕訓班:解碼情感互動中的奧秘」系列活動,包含六場互動式講座、四場實作工作坊。雖然順序安排有規劃邏輯,但完全歡迎隨時加入,沒有一定要全程參加,每一堂都是單堂報名的!</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;">大家無論如何有些成功/失敗/莫名其妙/不太確定的感情經驗,可能想搞懂自己怎麼了?為什麼會失敗?到底怎樣可以成功?如果我想要的情感關係不太一樣,要怎麼跟別人討論?</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;">而課程設計架構包含(一些些)知識概念、(一定時間比例的)互動討論、(重點回到)反思整理自己,希望忙碌的大人們在一個友善支持的空間裡面,花一些些時間想想自己的伴侶關係跟感情生活。</span></div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;">關注「關係」,而且是民主社會中的多元關係,牽涉層面不只是情緒或如何認識對象,尚包括自我覺察、對自己與他人的了解(性別認同、性傾向、慾望偏好、親密關係型態等)、溝通、界線、權力關係,什麼是適合自己的情感模式?如何經營?還有從過往的經驗中反思整理,辨識個人真實的需求跟期待。</span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: medium;">報名連結</span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x1ejq31n xd10rxx x1sy0etr x17r0tee x972fbf xcfux6l x1qhh985 xm0m39n x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz xt0b8zv x1fey0fg" href="https://trea.oen.tw/events/2dl15jDEg4Vq7IlgafymDcHtRBp?fbclid=IwAR0CTayLG1dHUvKD2sbn8xjoBXXenOWFLZHUG8fTRU0TxplBoKnWVuU5mJs" rel="nofollow noreferrer" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: medium;">https://trea.oen.tw/events/2dl15jDEg4Vq7IlgafymDcHtRBp</span></a></div></div>崔妮http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393668388793008716noreply@blogger.com0台灣臺北25.0329694 121.5654177-5.5714526526961841 86.409167700000012 55.637391452696178 156.72166769999998tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-11788153168830565602023-10-12T09:26:00.001+08:002023-10-12T09:26:28.266+08:00開放關係解救婚姻?一對一跟多邊戀的兩人如何共組家庭?小孩又怎麼想?<p><a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x6umtig x1b1mbwd xaqea5y xav7gou x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz xt0b8zv x1fey0fg" href="https://newslab.pts.org.tw/video/279?fbclid=IwAR1hqed0agcGjX1tVm7KQnfcj9qmyh8dzu97ZGqp3GLRCSwGemRlbNn7D5Q" rel="nofollow noreferrer" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; touch-action: manipulation; white-space-collapse: preserve;" tabindex="0" target="_blank">https://newslab.pts.org.tw/video/279</a> </p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;">公視的 </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x6umtig x1b1mbwd xaqea5y xav7gou x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz xt0b8zv x1qq9wsj xo1l8bm" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/p%E6%96%B0%E8%81%9E%E5%AF%A6%E9%A9%97%E5%AE%A4?__eep__=6&__cft__[0]=AZWNDmiWBf65JQa8KZ4qz4Y0BVbIw3RlYNRW6X9FT24-AXKH8zyp1n6vR3dxAk98ls1CVO-STZXzHgBXaNI19nUFLAA7_wW11wU7UTTgP_5qRufFu1bcZf0iEEq0dIQPQxz3COnhkdqYGWghA2nTqSlmVSYQ7ORp_22Bxt5gtfHLBODLvAxZkoOUEC6DEQLqzGc&__tn__=*NK-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0">#P新聞實驗室</a></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> 帶來開放式關係報導的下集,兩組實踐開放式關係的夫妻帶來更多關於愛、婚姻家庭、慾望、情感模式、認識自己、生命歷程的觸發。</span></p><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">很多人誤解 <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x6umtig x1b1mbwd xaqea5y xav7gou x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz xt0b8zv x1qq9wsj xo1l8bm" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/%E9%96%8B%E6%94%BE%E5%BC%8F%E9%97%9C%E4%BF%82?__eep__=6&__cft__[0]=AZWNDmiWBf65JQa8KZ4qz4Y0BVbIw3RlYNRW6X9FT24-AXKH8zyp1n6vR3dxAk98ls1CVO-STZXzHgBXaNI19nUFLAA7_wW11wU7UTTgP_5qRufFu1bcZf0iEEq0dIQPQxz3COnhkdqYGWghA2nTqSlmVSYQ7ORp_22Bxt5gtfHLBODLvAxZkoOUEC6DEQLqzGc&__tn__=*NK-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0">#開放式關係</a></span> 只是約炮或劈腿合理化,若只從這個角度理解開放式關係,真的有些可惜。</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>愛、性、婚姻、家庭、情感等等在歷史上沒有一致的樣貌或答案,每個時代、不同地區文化對於性、愛、婚姻的看法也會不同。一夫一妻在台灣是20世紀以後才成為主流或法律制度的事;曾經,自由戀愛結婚而非父母之命媒妁之言,可是大逆不道的事;不久的過去,被家暴是家醜不可外揚,被性侵是被害人不檢點......</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;">實踐者們有幸生在這個自由的時代,在仍有諸多偏見汙名的社會氣氛中,撐出一點空間、長出一些生命故事。如果你/妳正在開放式關係的路上,想要尋找同伴或找人聊聊天,歡迎參加 <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x6umtig x1b1mbwd xaqea5y xav7gou x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz xt0b8zv x1qq9wsj xo1l8bm" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/%E9%96%8B%E6%94%BE%E5%BC%8F%E9%97%9C%E4%BF%82%E8%81%8A%E5%A4%A9%E6%9C%83?__eep__=6&__cft__[0]=AZWNDmiWBf65JQa8KZ4qz4Y0BVbIw3RlYNRW6X9FT24-AXKH8zyp1n6vR3dxAk98ls1CVO-STZXzHgBXaNI19nUFLAA7_wW11wU7UTTgP_5qRufFu1bcZf0iEEq0dIQPQxz3COnhkdqYGWghA2nTqSlmVSYQ7ORp_22Bxt5gtfHLBODLvAxZkoOUEC6DEQLqzGc&__tn__=*NK-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0">#開放式關係聊天會</a></span></div><div dir="auto" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></div><p style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; text-align: left; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">[節錄]</span></b></span></p><div dir="auto"><div class="lg:flex-[0_0_16.666667%] flex-none lg:max-w-[16.666667%] max-w-full" data-v-84ce5c6f="" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; background-color: white; border: 0px solid rgb(229, 231, 235); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; flex: 0 0 16.6667%; font-family: "Noto Sans TC", "PingFang TC", "Microsoft JhengHei"; font-size: medium; max-width: 16.6667%; white-space-collapse: collapse;"><div class="flex flex-wrap md:mx-[-15px] mx-0" data-v-84ce5c6f="" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid rgb(229, 231, 235); box-sizing: border-box; display: flex; flex-wrap: wrap; margin-left: -15px; margin-right: -15px;"><div class="flex-[0_0_50%] max-w-[50%] relative w-full px-[15px]" data-v-84ce5c6f="" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid rgb(229, 231, 235); box-sizing: border-box; flex: 0 0 50%; max-width: 50%; padding-left: 15px; padding-right: 15px; position: relative; width: 120.75px;"><div class="flex lg:flex-col flex-row share-list lg:my-0 my-5" data-v-84ce5c6f="" data-v-f6446af5="" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid rgb(229, 231, 235); box-sizing: border-box; display: flex; flex-direction: column; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br /></div></div></div></div><article class="flex-[0_0_66.666667%] article-body mb-8 px-4 md:px-0" data-v-84ce5c6f="" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid rgb(229, 231, 235); box-sizing: border-box; flex: 0 0 66.6667%; margin-bottom: 2rem; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px;"><div data-v-84ce5c6f="" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid rgb(229, 231, 235); box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: medium;">開放式關係是追求個人的自由民主<br /><br />老婆假日放風,留下老公帶小孩,畫面的另一頭是老公、老婆在假日的午後,一起帶小孩去附近公園放電,這兩組看起來再普通不過的家庭,與一般家庭不太一樣——他們都是開放式婚姻的實踐者。<br /><br />崔妮是「拆框工作坊」的創辦人,拆框工作坊是開放式關係實踐者的互助社群。崔妮與先生油王(暱稱)交往前就履行開放式關係,交往期間兩人就有生育孩子的共識,因此讓關係走向婚姻。<br /><br />「很多人是因為相愛然後才想要結婚,但是我對婚姻的想法就是一個社會契約,我們很清楚我們是因為要共同撫養小孩而結婚。」崔妮補充,「小孩成年之後其實是可以結束婚姻關係,就看到時候有沒有需要。」<br /><br />從小受民主運動洗禮的崔妮,觀察到人們在公領域大談民主與自由,卻在私領域允許對彼此佔有。「似乎很多人沒有依循這樣子的一個信念,好像又對愛充滿了不安,那到底那個不安是從哪裡來的?」崔妮問。<br /><br />不像崔妮對於人跟人的關係有很多思考,甚至研究所也投入心力提出相關論文,油王是順其自然的走入開放式關係。<br /><br />油王因為前任女友是開放式關係,為了跟前任維繫開放式關係,因此去了拆框工作坊,也認識了崔妮。<br /><br />「她(前女友)吵架幹嘛就跑來我家住,可是那個時候我也滿奇怪,會去跟他講說什麼你們這東西有什麼誤會啊,去平撫她的情緒,因此我跟她關係好像開始比較接近、緊密,那些令我不舒服的疙瘩反而變成(這段關係)存在價值。」油王補充了他對於開放式關係的體悟。</span></div><div data-v-84ce5c6f="" style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; border: 0px solid rgb(229, 231, 235); box-sizing: border-box;"><br /><div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: black; font-family: "Noto Sans TC", "PingFang TC", "Microsoft JhengHei"; font-size: medium; text-align: center; white-space-collapse: collapse;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/iXIKPsC8o6I" width="320" youtube-src-id="iXIKPsC8o6I"></iframe></div><br /><p style="--tw-border-spacing-x: 0; --tw-border-spacing-y: 0; --tw-ring-color: rgba(59,130,246,.5); --tw-ring-offset-color: #fff; --tw-ring-offset-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-ring-offset-width: 0px; --tw-ring-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-rotate: 0; --tw-scale-x: 1; --tw-scale-y: 1; --tw-scroll-snap-strictness: proximity; --tw-shadow-colored: 0 0 #0000; --tw-shadow: 0 0 #0000; --tw-skew-x: 0; --tw-skew-y: 0; --tw-translate-x: 0; --tw-translate-y: 0; background-color: white; border: 0px solid rgb(229, 231, 235); box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-family: "Noto Sans TC", "PingFang TC", "Microsoft JhengHei"; font-size: 18px; line-height: 32.4px; margin: 0px; padding: 20px 0px; white-space-collapse: collapse;"><br /></p></div></article></div></div>崔妮http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393668388793008716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-41466179337602361492023-07-12T08:26:00.005+08:002023-07-12T08:31:57.384+08:002023開放式關係聊天會(7月場)<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWI1N5GQuD1MEqXkxkU48h0V-lsORRzjRfQ0PT3Fr6pLCBYmeryT_YB3VAqfeSsPW-exzKrKnihl1gNvclUaosbPyFeAv_8-sDUn0y91iQrZMlp4UdNi5laSF8c2LXgJBYf5I2ELMwAk5h5acsqOZCNz7BjiN79jdLUnlytQ9_OkVkw788ZV6rj6b_qmM/s960/359441456_690523433088426_7865113571553093033_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWI1N5GQuD1MEqXkxkU48h0V-lsORRzjRfQ0PT3Fr6pLCBYmeryT_YB3VAqfeSsPW-exzKrKnihl1gNvclUaosbPyFeAv_8-sDUn0y91iQrZMlp4UdNi5laSF8c2LXgJBYf5I2ELMwAk5h5acsqOZCNz7BjiN79jdLUnlytQ9_OkVkw788ZV6rj6b_qmM/w400-h225/359441456_690523433088426_7865113571553093033_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p><div class="xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">只有一個情人,都會想找人談談了,更何況我不只一個!?</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">開放式關係中的各種狀況,不一定可以與平日好友互訴,「開放式關係聊天會」顧名思義是一個聊天會,所以每個人都要講話、也都要聽別人講話,總有一個機會,能夠好好聊聊開放式關係這件事。</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><br /></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">■徵求對象(至多 10 人):<br />1.認同or曾經實踐or正在實踐(包含溝通中)開放式關係的人。<br />2.對象是異性戀或性傾向包含異性戀關係者。</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><br /></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">■什麼是「開放式關係」?<br />我們探索及實踐坦誠的非一對一關係:在關係中成員「知情同意」的前提下,與成員以外的對象建立關係 及/或 進行情慾互動。</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><br /></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">●地點:<br />台北市北投區-捷運北投站步行2分鐘以內(活動前一週收到出席確認後告知)</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">●活動場地備註:<br />活動提供簡單點心及茶水,亦可自行攜帶食物飲料。</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">●帶領人:<br />崔妮、俊酉</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">●活動流程:<br />說明進行方式→成員自我介紹→成員提出想問大家或想分享的事情,其他人回應提出的成員(重複進行至兩小時滿)→自由聊天(一小時,也可先離開)→散會。</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">●費用:<br />每人300 元(現場繳交,請準備零錢)</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">●只接受個人報名,不得一人報名,兩人參加。想與伴侶一同參加,請分別報名,感謝!</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">●所有訊息都由e-mail聯繫,請務必收信,前一周會寄送出席確認信,如檢查後皆未收到,請私訊<a href="https://www.facebook.com/trini.poly" target="_blank">拆框工作坊粉絲專頁</a>。</div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;">報名網址:<a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x6umtig x1b1mbwd xaqea5y xav7gou x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz xt0b8zv x1fey0fg" href="https://forms.gle/Bji67MWMHinweeGCA?fbclid=IwAR2V3YzBJG8T5-hdyuO30Lrmy1JIVUGQJ4KJ7vd_2_8_4lTwDmO0j3QGggY" rel="nofollow noreferrer" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0" target="_blank">https://forms.gle/Bji67MWMHinweeGCA</a></div>崔妮http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393668388793008716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-28791920178168128722021-09-13T22:44:00.002+08:002021-09-13T23:50:00.726+08:002021第四屆波栗台灣年會<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMQjfqriveoehvbpRWeeOJMru1KO6x83SZNP8fi_9nofrTx3oickFda1VK-oHpmzpdJzyBsF1q7klpRVlAk0F_FUneHJHcnLnbS6h4WjUpxSL0gpaSuADmkPwMTRHmURLnNpWJK3jr2Aw/s1080/%25E6%259C%25AA%25E5%2591%25BD%25E5%2590%258D-2%25E6%258B%25B7%25E8%25B2%259D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="1080" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMQjfqriveoehvbpRWeeOJMru1KO6x83SZNP8fi_9nofrTx3oickFda1VK-oHpmzpdJzyBsF1q7klpRVlAk0F_FUneHJHcnLnbS6h4WjUpxSL0gpaSuADmkPwMTRHmURLnNpWJK3jr2Aw/w400-h200/%25E6%259C%25AA%25E5%2591%25BD%25E5%2590%258D-2%25E6%258B%25B7%25E8%25B2%259D.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">親愛的波栗(poly)朋友們:</span></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">2021這一年,大家還好嗎?</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">「波栗台灣年會」(原「波栗台灣研討會」)走到第四年了,有沒有在你/妳的開放式/多重關係旅程裡,帶來什麼變化呢?</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">我們今年呀,可是有了重大的變化喔!</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">回首2018年,也是波栗打開開的第6年、拆框工作坊的第2年,在波栗打開開的發動下,我們有了「第一屆波栗台灣研討會:非典型親密關係的時光隧道」。那一年,我們試圖回顧「多重伴侶、開放式關係在台灣的過去、現在和未來」,也與2002年、2019年兩度翻譯「道德浪女」的張娟芬相見。當天美好的氛圍讓我們有了小小盼望,希望每年都可以有這樣一場聚會。</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">因此,2019年及2020年,在波栗打開開和拆框工作坊的努力下,我們持續辦了第二屆及第三屆,發表研究、舉辦講座及工作坊,並以圓桌論壇一起回顧過去的一年。我們希望,一年一度的年會,可以是台灣開放式、多重伴侶關係社群相聚的日子。</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">而今年,由於新冠肺炎升溫,讓我們首次決定將以往實體舉辦的年會改為 <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl q66pz984 gpro0wi8 b1v8xokw" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/%E7%B7%9A%E4%B8%8A%E8%88%89%E8%BE%A6?__eep__=6&__cft__[0]=AZXlDG7ljY3SM9B8rDinTasvnHgpFdhb23dbntNoQKTQkWCJPfJpSuDvm4g40krPzJQOVXd9nJqMHZI3lVgMXH2qslO34Hk_S8FixX1Vbbuo2q68Cf5kS18Xp2ufTbOJ6H0pWiXXPCcJFAyBb9mQBy3XBhv1iHfI46hzIwc4umC8Zv1YaIppWuiZ1cur-xoWOXw&__tn__=*NK-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0">#線上舉辦</a></span>,讓各地的朋友都可以在家輕鬆參與,安全的學習成長、討論議題、關注社群發展,或擴展人與人的連結。</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">此外,我們的主辦團隊裡,今年也多了兩位同樣重視開放式/多重關係的新夥伴,分別是自2004年成立、長期推動BDSM與性別平等議題的 <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl q66pz984 gpro0wi8 b1v8xokw" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/%E7%9A%AE%E7%B9%A9%E6%84%89%E8%99%90%E9%82%A6?__eep__=6&__cft__[0]=AZXlDG7ljY3SM9B8rDinTasvnHgpFdhb23dbntNoQKTQkWCJPfJpSuDvm4g40krPzJQOVXd9nJqMHZI3lVgMXH2qslO34Hk_S8FixX1Vbbuo2q68Cf5kS18Xp2ufTbOJ6H0pWiXXPCcJFAyBb9mQBy3XBhv1iHfI46hzIwc4umC8Zv1YaIppWuiZ1cur-xoWOXw&__tn__=*NK-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0">#皮繩愉虐邦</a></span>,及2021年甫成立、致力增進情感教育資源網絡並讓社會正確認識多元親密關係型態的 <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl q66pz984 gpro0wi8 b1v8xokw" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/%E7%A4%BE%E5%9C%98%E6%B3%95%E4%BA%BA%E5%8F%B0%E7%81%A3%E6%83%85%E6%84%9F%E6%95%99%E8%82%B2%E5%8D%94%E6%9C%83?__eep__=6&__cft__[0]=AZXlDG7ljY3SM9B8rDinTasvnHgpFdhb23dbntNoQKTQkWCJPfJpSuDvm4g40krPzJQOVXd9nJqMHZI3lVgMXH2qslO34Hk_S8FixX1Vbbuo2q68Cf5kS18Xp2ufTbOJ6H0pWiXXPCcJFAyBb9mQBy3XBhv1iHfI46hzIwc4umC8Zv1YaIppWuiZ1cur-xoWOXw&__tn__=*NK-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0">#社團法人台灣情感教育協會</a></span>。</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">想體驗全新的線上版年會,和各地的波栗朋友在Gather Town裡,讓各種主題房幫助你/妳快速破冰、結識同好嗎?好奇全新的主辦團隊將給年會帶來什麼新鮮火花嗎?歡迎報名參加「2021第四屆波栗台灣年會」,與我們在空中共渡美好的週末吧!</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">【時間】2021/10/2(週六)13:45 - 21:30 (9/30 報名截止、10/1 繳費截止)</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">【地點】線上活動,將使用 Google Meet 及 Gather Town(活動連結將統一於10/2上午寄發)</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">1.Google Meet使用教學:<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl py34i1dx gpro0wi8" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Freurl.cc%2FOk1Q5R%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR2_Kj1vni6-TLPcd21TYccBdpOLoGANbqbwdE124D6Bt_gTICiqJtRbjTA&h=AT3rudul8x6ImOAiZO79kQLjQoMk2iR08SeCmhI5wJkuf9FEgw3LKxYKo2iqb2Lbv7kU6z0uNntRMrmennV0iTWfZLvMsfEarbCeRs7eTRjo-PJLdIJ9SlGyjPw4DLb5JTu0&__tn__=-UK-R&c[0]=AT1FtofNdufBWRatwPnyng-Bs8EsJoAvip-7eeUqlWvjvhPYaWNsQPTFmte2MbWBogP-uIXeVOFNdtPsdgBMGkSHgeu4T-zL4_HsFFIxiSYH8CINs7AyTINgXE3Bwa5T6OBXhVMk1DoK3Yy3WClnD2XgzzxRUASwuZXOTr9DTecEQE8nsbVAMvhm1CNmPsUOswWtlKcW" rel="nofollow noopener" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0" target="_blank">https://reurl.cc/Ok1Q5R</a></span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">2.Gather Town使用教學(含Poly Place空間介紹):<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl py34i1dx gpro0wi8" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Freurl.cc%2FMkvEkL%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR1mCbIwMz-eNFXxYiU1eWw6nYsck-ckTF5m1hIQE_8xSJ5bT0RZOL2xPF0&h=AT1X5vkW7BW5ELqiMBT-UqXpwmHkty5P9s6yIhSQb__75iT41dHxfBWx4zZJCa3dcfgC_B_GRVbSkonu9JQ7RlQYDW0yyvIALVpu-zXDwwEo0gc30JvIWPVaIJFfj6_E3aCz&__tn__=-UK-R&c[0]=AT1FtofNdufBWRatwPnyng-Bs8EsJoAvip-7eeUqlWvjvhPYaWNsQPTFmte2MbWBogP-uIXeVOFNdtPsdgBMGkSHgeu4T-zL4_HsFFIxiSYH8CINs7AyTINgXE3Bwa5T6OBXhVMk1DoK3Yy3WClnD2XgzzxRUASwuZXOTr9DTecEQE8nsbVAMvhm1CNmPsUOswWtlKcW" rel="nofollow noopener" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0" target="_blank">https://reurl.cc/MkvEkL</a></span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">*報名後,我們將提供Google Meet 及 Gather Town的功能測試網址及專人在線諮詢時段,協助大家於年會前掌握操作方式。</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">【費用】以「報名繳費方式」及「是否為社團法人台灣情感教育協會會員」區分,無開立發票</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">1.以活動通報名繳費(可線上刷卡):400元 </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">(活動通:<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl py34i1dx gpro0wi8" href="https://www.accupass.com/go/PTAM2021?fbclid=IwAR1D1jl11V4_oaSBabwmpCtwYibBT6YTSWyL8Iu9n7rkLX6yhxW0OusTM_k" rel="nofollow noopener" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0" target="_blank">https://www.accupass.com/go/PTAM2021</a></span>)</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">2.以表單報名並轉帳繳費:</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">(表單:<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl py34i1dx gpro0wi8" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fforms.gle%2FzdnHADZHMZKp4Qbh8%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR1pBwKn5wQFmeCHmdnFHIbgEmepxCytlK3iwfN-LsDnTc6gNfOZTfpuYOc&h=AT0x1xIK4fXDW7-9cNQ-5_89jwI7jZOzR5TpKZbLTL0kL0q_OXRZPuxQ7AK8reLoRnG9LuBule5-uubiAVPSSi02oIpxBygbV9HHuteOPGEOjfZklKoq4TUnfKc1UFXN7V2s&__tn__=-UK-R&c[0]=AT1FtofNdufBWRatwPnyng-Bs8EsJoAvip-7eeUqlWvjvhPYaWNsQPTFmte2MbWBogP-uIXeVOFNdtPsdgBMGkSHgeu4T-zL4_HsFFIxiSYH8CINs7AyTINgXE3Bwa5T6OBXhVMk1DoK3Yy3WClnD2XgzzxRUASwuZXOTr9DTecEQE8nsbVAMvhm1CNmPsUOswWtlKcW" rel="nofollow noopener" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0" target="_blank">https://forms.gle/zdnHADZHMZKp4Qbh8</a></span>)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">(1)非會員:350元</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">(2)會員:300元</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">【注意事項】</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">1.請以桌機或筆電使用Gather Town,如以手機或平板使用,將無法使用大部分功能。</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">2.請事先確認所處地點之網路流量及連網設備是否可穩定連線,以確保活動參與品質。</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">3.建議使用有線耳機及麥克風,並請在非發言時關閉麥克風,以避免雜音干擾。</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">4.使用 Google Meet時,如欲發言,請先使用舉手功能,或於聊天室以打字方式提出。</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">【主辦】拆框工作坊、波栗打開開、皮繩愉虐邦、社團法人台灣情感教育協會</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">【活動議程】請參見報名網頁</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">【報名網頁】</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">1.活動通:<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl py34i1dx gpro0wi8" href="https://www.accupass.com/go/PTAM2021?fbclid=IwAR3s_eJLLHkR6qXnuDKGfnZMPHOEpY4zIB0CjmZXgKNFpuE3VVoXOqGtJL8" rel="nofollow noopener" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0" target="_blank">https://www.accupass.com/go/PTAM2021</a></span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">2.表單:<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="oajrlxb2 g5ia77u1 qu0x051f esr5mh6w e9989ue4 r7d6kgcz rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 nc684nl6 p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of lzcic4wl py34i1dx gpro0wi8" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fforms.gle%2FzdnHADZHMZKp4Qbh8%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR3I4UmHekblFryHvE-CKS2nvW1ehpClUkeLuSRGzaQWUUabgxONXRJwqqM&h=AT0x1xIK4fXDW7-9cNQ-5_89jwI7jZOzR5TpKZbLTL0kL0q_OXRZPuxQ7AK8reLoRnG9LuBule5-uubiAVPSSi02oIpxBygbV9HHuteOPGEOjfZklKoq4TUnfKc1UFXN7V2s&__tn__=-UK-R&c[0]=AT1FtofNdufBWRatwPnyng-Bs8EsJoAvip-7eeUqlWvjvhPYaWNsQPTFmte2MbWBogP-uIXeVOFNdtPsdgBMGkSHgeu4T-zL4_HsFFIxiSYH8CINs7AyTINgXE3Bwa5T6OBXhVMk1DoK3Yy3WClnD2XgzzxRUASwuZXOTr9DTecEQE8nsbVAMvhm1CNmPsUOswWtlKcW" rel="nofollow noopener" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration-line: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0" target="_blank">https://forms.gle/zdnHADZHMZKp4Qbh8</a></span></div></div>崔妮http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393668388793008716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-41381008510386749172021-03-25T17:58:00.000+08:002021-03-25T17:58:16.131+08:00真?假?開放式關係<span style="font-size: medium;">文/柳安-Ann<br /><br />開放式關係是指「坦承的非一對一關係」,當中的「坦承」、「知情」跟「同意」,是非常重要的要素,原因是執行這樣關係樣態的人,希望關係中沒有人因為「欺騙」或「隱瞞」受到傷害,要「完美」執行這樣的關係當然有難度,也沒有人一下子就很厲害,背後通常是要花很多時間心力在「面對關係」及「溝通」。<br /><br />世界上幾乎沒有靠「默契」就能完美運作的關係,更何況是非一對一關係,如果有看起來還能運作的「開放式關係」,大多是血淚斑斑磨合出來的,磨合過程中如果當事人有在努力朝向「坦承」、「知情」跟「同意」實踐,我們不太會說他是「假開放式關係」,不過努力練功的過程中,有沒有可能犯錯或是採在道德紅線?<br /><br />以關係內最需要的溝通來看,溝通有兩造,單方不擅長溝通,跟不溝通,跟用名詞混淆溝通,跟無意識的保護自己欺騙別人,跟刻意的隱瞞欺騙傷害。另外,對造又是接收到什麼內容?或是溝通過程接收到多少情感或誠意?都有可能造成類似「渣」的結果跟感受。<br /><br />由於每個人接受程度跟難受程度可能不大一樣,遇到這樣的情形,不管是自己渣還是別人渣,在個人議題上有很多可以好好討論,不過,討論過程中如果不光討論個案或是個人遭遇到的難題,還老跟開放式關係混在一起寫,站在「開放式關係」在台灣還在「正名」、「澄清」階段的社會運動進程上,確實會有擔心,這種擔心也許類同我們討論「一對一關係」中的隱瞞欺騙傷害時,不會刻意強調打著「一對一」幌子,但「開放式關係」會;講到「異性戀」的情殺用藥,不會刻意強調「異性戀」,但「同性戀」會。<br /><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: medium;">於是對想實踐「開放式關係」的人來說,對內要處理關係已經很艱難了,對外還要面對更多不理解而戴上有色眼鏡的人們,雖同意該譴責打著「開放式關係」招牌但實際上亂搞的人,卻害怕這樣的譴責,是否會讓更多在練功過程中犯錯,但還願意反省改進的人感到混亂,反倒質疑起自己來?</span></span></p>崔妮http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393668388793008716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-25748265341878399722020-12-18T21:31:00.004+08:002020-12-18T21:35:00.396+08:00【實踐者學習-道德浪女讀書會】005場共筆<p><span style="color: #666666;"> <span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">【實踐者學習-道德浪女讀書會】005場共筆</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">許多開放式關係夥伴,會在實踐之外,透過不同管道汲取開放式關係的知識與能量!近來有一群夥伴們,在</span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">一同閱讀了開放式關係經典「道德浪女」後,延伸</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">閱讀了臺灣第一本異性戀開放式關係研究論文,並大方分享閱讀重點與心得,讓我們一起看看這段精華,也別忘了在心裡感謝此些共筆人唷!</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-45436a30-7fff-910b-38d9-877184559dbe"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">浪女讀書會《005場》會後共筆</span></p><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">閱讀範圍:2009年「性解放的出路? 異性戀坦誠的多重伴侶關係之研究」研究論文《第一章 序論(p.1-p.25)》</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">參與者:喬、含、駿、KEN、三媽、崔妮、Wendy</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">讀書會日期:2020/11/30</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">一、會前筆記</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-阿駿-</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(一)重點摘要</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">序論中主要分成兩個面向:</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">第一個是提問,首先指出20世紀後,婚姻有脫離最初目的的趨勢,也就是逐漸不再為了社會規範以及經濟保障為目的,在這種情況下,性、愛、婚姻、親密性之間的連結是甚麼?接著再延伸出如何以性、性階層、性別權力去分析性別不平等?最後是探討親密關係所指涉的親近感、性滿足、愛情,是否僅能集中在同一段伴侶關係中?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">第二個是研究方向及資料蒐集,資料蒐集主要是透過網路尋找訪談對象,並且在過程中逐漸確立研究對象的篩選條件,從納入部分隱瞞伴侶的非一對一關係者,到必須以坦承及知情同意為原則,也就是以認同為基礎,再去尋找實踐者的方向去尋找研究對象。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(二)印象深刻的地方</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1.在p.8的小結提到:女性多重性伴侶的行為是否就能等同情慾解放的女人?這提問的答案乍看之下會覺得是,但總覺得好像哪裡怪怪的,情慾解放的核心價值應該沒辦法和多重性伴侶畫上等號,但好像大家都著重於實踐,跟蒐集資料提到的「認同」及「實踐」孰輕孰重一樣,讓我想蠻久的。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2.在p.18的女性主義立場提到:號稱「客觀中立」的知識產生,事實上隱含的均為男性觀點。自己生理上是男生,雖然說不定可以理解尚未發生在自己身上的事(部分女性的觀點),但未曾聽聞到的卻很難憑空想像,就像右撇子很難理解左撇子的不便,而且平常不會想到原來這方面左撇子不方便,對於知識的產生均隱含男性觀點讓我覺得很想一探究竟。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三)目前的疑問</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1.在p.13的附註中,提到會觀察女網友在討論版的發言,來判斷是否有類似的想法才主動攀談,想問判斷的標準是什麼?怎樣的言論或行為可以看一個人可能有類似的想法?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2.10位受訪者中,除了坦承跟知情同意,還有沒有其他必要條件?或是其他的篩選原則?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-Ken-</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(一)重點摘要</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">作者由個人感受出發,進入研究所就讀,對多重關係進行了解及研究。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">文獻探討部分,說明非一對一關係跟其他議題的區別,因為需要坦承跟知情同意,從此出發,透過女性主義性論戰與性、愛、婚姻、親密性的文獻分析,作者在小結中提出許多提問進行反思,例如,如果不一定導向愛情、婚姻的性或感情,維繫關係的意義可能為何?又想走到什麼方向去?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">當然,研究也會有限制,例如實踐者是否覺察,甚至抵抗社會所加諸的污名,是文獻較少看到的一點。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">最後,作者以女性主義與「理念認同」且「有實際多重伴侶經驗」為挑選受訪者的標準,而後進行訪談與田野調查。然後作者因為是圈內人,本身有優勢也被攻擊,其中更發現受訪者有隱瞞狀況,因而刪除其不當受訪者。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(二)印象深刻的地方:</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1.實踐者很容易陷入非知情同意的狀況,作者本身的解讀是:事實證明,當受訪者對我產生研究者或一般朋友以外的期待,特別是性對象的期待時,有可能促使受訪者選擇較注意自己要展現性愛市場中,比較容易被接受的狀態,也就是單身或未婚。因為,當我事後進一步詢問翰強為什麼要隱瞞我的時候,他覺得一方面我們不夠熟,他本來就不會跟不熟的朋友透露已婚狀態,另一方面他也的確擔心我知道他已婚之後,會不願意跟他發生性關係。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">心理狀態(擔憂或恐懼什麼)與身心需求,我認為也是可以切入的點,在不評價任何人的行為下,可以更清楚為何有人不知情同意。當能夠接觸他人的恐懼,對於推廣開放式關係可能會更順暢。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2.Sheff(2006)發現實踐polyamory的男性大致發展出三種順從或抵抗霸權陽剛特質的類型。其中,較偏向主流霸權陽剛特質的男性,大都認為自己只會是異性戀且有恐同焦慮,即便承諾維繫平等的多重關係,仍比較容易忌妒,甚至無法接受伴侶跟其他男性的情感關係,而會認為「只是性罷了」,而polyamory對他們來說,比較像是實現性幻想或證明性能力的方式。其二,由於polyamory實踐者大都為中產階級,較具備傳統男子氣慨的勞動階級男性在社群中有被排斥的狀況,或是被預設為「比較大男人而實踐能力有問題的」,同時,雙性戀男性也較不受到歡迎,認為在男多女少的市場生態中,兩面吃香引人忌妒。最後一類,是一群抵抗霸權陽剛特質的男人,或許滿足性需求是大多數人的動機,但他們則認為情感關係更加重要,或許仍會受到忌妒的情緒困擾,但他們都更願意嘗試維繫坦誠的關係,而在情慾需求或性別特質方面也較中性,甚至能與男性之間建立緊密的情感。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">第一,聯想到傑克事件,純粹來社群證明性能力與獵奇。第二,我個人很有這樣的感覺,因為自己對於性愛可接受陰柔男以及女生(我很想當雙性人)。第三,這樣的人,比較能夠在社群生存。但我也在想,拆框同溫層似乎很厚,到底如何打破同溫層,讓我們更有力量去改變他人,更自豪地站出來,是我一直努力的。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三)目前的疑問</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1.在p.7提到從親密關係提到紀登斯:如同Giddens(1992)認為,隨著公領域的民主化,親密關係等私領域也會隨之民主化,而民主的親密關係又能影響公領域的民主,他認為親密關係將逐漸發展成純粹關係(pure relationship),也就是伴侶關係的維繫並不是因外在的社會制度因素,而是因相互的自我揭露、溝通,具有高度的自我覺察,欣賞對方的獨特性,對彼此全然的開放,而達到平等的親密關係,並且,性關係也脫離了生殖的目的,而具有創造性、追求互相的愉悅。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我不太理解這一大段的轉變過程,然後什麼是民主的親密關係?這一大段落的描述,跟標題二十世紀後的親密關係轉變:性、愛、婚姻、親密性,關聯性又是什麼?我認為作者可能因為篇幅太少,沒有完整的描述到。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2.在p.10提到這類polyamory的論述缺乏權力議題的探討,也忽略情感及慾望也是建構於特定的歷史及權力關係中。這些自助手冊反映的是現代西方、白人、中產階級的親密關係意識型態,忽略了種族、階級及不同文化並非用相同的方式看待親密關係(Haritaworn et al, 2006)。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">在作者所訪談的對象中,似乎都是中產階級,如同道德浪女所寫的背景,也都是西方中產階級觀點。我在思考的是如何讓遊民或低階層民眾,如何實踐開放式關係,他們如果實踐這關係,會不會門檻更高?會不會更被汙名化?實踐開放式關係,不該分種族/國籍/性別。實踐者本身,會不會看不起這些人?會不會看似友善,但其實非常傲慢?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-三媽-</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(一)重點摘要</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">遇到的狀況。儘管時隔十一年,我想今日若要做此研究,遇到的問題相異不大。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(二)印象深刻的地方</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我印象深刻的地方:笑容、常掛在嘴邊的感情故事,以及...我覺得蔡舜柔本身就是讓人印象深刻的存在。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三)目前的疑問</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我目前覺得最大的疑問是標題,以讀完第一章來說,覺得著墨在性解放相關的內容並不多。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-Wendy-</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(一)重點摘要</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">作者以自身故事作為研究起點,成長過程中便對性、愛、親密關係及其交互作用感到好奇,研究所認識了多重伴侶的概念,彷彿為長期的追尋找到解答,遂投入此概念的研究。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">文獻探討中,作者清楚說明多重伴侶關係的核心價值「坦誠」與「知情同意」,帶出女性主義者對於性、性階層、性別權力的諸多論戰,探問坦誠之於親密關係的影響,與多重伴侶關係維繫的意義。並藉由探討相關研究,說明研究的限制,例如實踐者性別建構過程對實踐歷程的影響等。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">關於資料蒐集原則與過程,多重伴侶關係在社會不被認同,被病理化、視為缺乏道德感或情感失功能,因此作者利用網路的便利與匿名性,取得信任,並以「理念認同」且「有實際多重伴侶經驗」作為挑選受訪者的標準。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(二)印象深刻的地方</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">印象最深刻之一,是作者受邀至研習活動中分享網路性愛的田野調查時,因為在網路上徵求有此經驗的男性網友同台分享,而收到了某男性網友來信。赤裸裸的惡意,就連只是個讀者的我讀來都臉頰發燙。這些謾罵、負面的言論,也恰好展現出一般社會大眾對於性和性別權力的刻板框架。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">印象最深刻之二,關於受訪者的欺騙/隱瞞。一位作者認識兩年的男性受訪者,表明樂意受訪、協助作者的論文,然而即使作者本身特質為廣泛接納、不對他人進行價值批判的,這位男性受訪者仍然隱瞞了其已婚的狀態。讓我印象深刻的其實是作者在這個段落中,精準描繪出受訪者的期待。作者對該事件的分析讓我對應到自己尚未認識開放式關係前,處理類似情況時的選擇,也因此這段讀來十分有共鳴。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三)目前的疑問</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">在p.7中,提到Giddens對於親密關係的看法。Giddens認為,「隨著公領域的民主化,親密關係等私領域也會隨之民主化,而民主的親密關係又能影響公領域的民主」。這段文字讓我無法理解,親密關係等的私領域如何「民主化」呢?民主的親密關係又如何影響公領域的民主呢?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> -喬-</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(一)作者的提問</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1.台灣有這樣的關係存在嗎?長怎樣?人們如何進入poly,為何進入?如何維持,如何運作?有什麼發現?實踐poly會遇到的阻礙?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2.poly中遇到的權力關係為何?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3.poly如何扭轉性別不平等的親密關係?有什麼解放性?有哪些限制?(特別區分對女性有哪些解放與限制,和對男性有哪些解放與限制)</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4.個人如何掌握決定自身的情慾選擇,如何維繫平等關係?(性解放的個人實踐層次)</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">5.是否有條件發展出改變既有社會結構的集體運動(社會結構層次)?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">6.性如果不一定導向愛情、婚姻,那麼親密關係如果不一定導向愛情、婚姻,那維繫關係的意義可能是什麼?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(二)喬的疑問</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Q1: 作者認為性別不平等是什麼?在2009年、在台灣。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Q2:作者談的性解放是指什麼?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A2:1960-1970年代的性解放運動,批判婚姻和一夫一妻制是私有財產的具體實現,因此認為社會的解放必須包含情慾解放。強調個人追求性自由。(p5)</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Q3:poly跟性解放的關係是什麼?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A3:poly承襲性解放的思想,但除了性解放強調個人的性自由,也注意到關係中的性別權力議題。(p.11)</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Q4:為什麼poly強調坦誠和知情同意?沒有別的共同價值嗎?這兩點的重要性是什麼?誰說的?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A4:</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. 不誠實和不知情同意的多重關係很常見,為了排除以便定義研究目標</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2. 在研究過程中~因為讀到談女同志poly的文獻,無關坦誠與否。作者想要加以區別。(p.16)</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Q5:坦誠和知情同意如何促成平等的親密關係?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三)文獻部分的摘要</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1.性別不平等是如何產生如何維持的?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">麥金儂:異性戀關係就是男性對女性施展權力的地方。性是男性權力的建構來源,女性與男性性交,她的性就受到男性的操控和定義。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">魯賓:性別的不平等不是來自男性對女性的性掠奪,而是「正常的性」壓迫「其他的性」。正常的性就是一男一女一夫一妻一生一世,不正常的例如同性戀、性工作、BDSM等。怎麼壓迫?透過法律和社會觀感來鞏固權力不對等。Rubin把這個稱作「性階層」間的壓迫。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">作者:麥金儂沒辦法解釋就算不跟男性性交,一樣有男性權力的壓迫,例如職場玻璃天花板。而且對異性戀女性來說,跟男性打砲=被壓迫,也未免太絕望。但是魯賓講的「不正常的性受到壓迫」,也沒辦法解釋性別權力的存在,例如同樣跟很多人上床,男女受到的評價和阻力就不一樣,要怎麼解釋?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2.親密關係民主化</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">婚姻原本是基於經濟考量的社會關係,激情的愛是在婚姻之外尋找的。19世紀工業革命,都市形成,工作的地方-生活的地方被分開,以及消費主義和個人主義的興起,我要自願的和我找到的人戀愛,我要在這個關係中得到愛,親密感,和激情的性,我要打造美滿的婚姻...這時候激情的愛和婚姻才開始有關聯。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">紀登斯認為,隨著公領域的的民主化,親密關係等私領域也會隨之民主化。而且紀登斯還很大膽的提出,關係的民主化,例如從親密關係到親子關係的民主化,能影響公領域的民主。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3.研究對象的界定</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(1)坦誠的(不同於其他文獻討論女同志多重關係)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(2)知情同意(就算沒有在實踐 但認同自己的對象有多重關係)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(3)長期的伴侶關係(排除性冒險群體)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(4)以異性戀為主題,但不排除雙性戀</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(5)不排除已婚者</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(6)有實踐多重關係經驗</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">二、讀書會內容</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(一)文本討論</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1.Sheff談的三種實踐男性類型,拆框支持和培養的似乎是第三種</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2.consensus翻譯成知情同意合理嗎?或是應該翻成「共識」?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3.跟主要伴侶坦誠and知情同意為前提的意義是在確立討論對象</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(二)引用文獻細讀</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 70.8661pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1.Jamieson:親密關係的建立不只是滿足愛情三角理論,而是包含社會文化關係,例如跟一個人交往很有面子,或是爸爸媽媽很喜歡,是會影響到親密關係的意願的。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 70.8661pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2.Mackinnon認為女同志社會才能讓女人擺脫性別壓迫。但→(1)女同裡面也有權力關係,也有父權。(2)承認異性戀的現實存在來談怎麼解決問題。(3)關係中除了性別壓迫之外也有階級和族群的壓迫。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三)延伸討論</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">如果這篇文章想討論多重關係是否有促進性別平等的可能性,那麼我們首先需要知道性別不平等是否存在?如何存在?接著才能討論多重關係的實踐如何可能打破不平等?我們的實踐中是否有經歷過抵抗不平等呢?</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(四)台灣2020年女性有受到壓迫ㄇ?(喬)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">阿駿:有。男性升遷明顯較容易,是預設要升遷的人們,而女性如果升遷是因為長得漂亮或關係好(自身經驗)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">崔妮:公開談開放關係被問「不會覺得自己身體很髒ㄇ」(自身經驗)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">KEN:大致上沒有。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Wendy:女性同仁生小孩就預設職位被取代,長輩和社會對女性期待要進入家庭(文化)。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">含:小孩跟男生姓、過年要回男性家(文化)。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">三媽:已婚女性墮胎要伴侶同意(法律)。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">喬:YES。1.性暴力95%受害者是女性。2.結婚生子需要離開職場的大多是女性。3.無時無刻被要求提供關注溫柔等情緒勞動</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(五)身為poly社群成員,或實踐多重關係中,大家覺得自己有在對抗性別不平等嗎?(境含)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">KEN:支持同事請生理假,見到對未婚女性同仁貼標籤會吐槽。(Ken補充:或是工作分配/薪資協助爭取)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(活動後個人思考:我比較常先站在人的角度,再去思考性別,例如這個人身體不好需要協助,那我不會因為他或她的性別而有差異,但社會大眾常常會協助女性而非男性。己所不欲,勿施於人,是我對抗性別不平等的準則)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">境含:在職場坦白出櫃,對抗正常的性,正常的婚家制度。會直接說女友也有其他交往對象,也有上床,對抗對女性的性壟斷。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">三媽:得到筆戰的支持。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">阿駿:實踐每次的積極同意,讓對方知道對方有接受和拒絕的權力。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Wendy:對內的。跟男友的關係在開放之後趨近對等。對自己的性別角色有反思,原本自認是支持、陪伴的角色,開放關係之後變得可以討論。提供開放關係的選擇給身邊的朋友,提供不只傳統婚家關係的選擇。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 71.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 0.566929pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">崔妮:很長一段時間用兩個身份,在poly議題用研究者身份而非實踐者。隨著家庭關係進展和職涯發展的改變,才慢慢少量出櫃。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">三、下次見面</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(一)讀完剩下的整篇論文。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 35.4331pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(二)對引用文獻有興趣者:三媽準備Jamieson,喬準備Giddens,幫大家摘要介紹。</span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-12570793299613942032020-11-24T21:56:00.001+08:002020-11-24T21:56:56.017+08:00【交換日記讀者來稿】2020.11.23 #K<div style="text-align: center;">關於比較與焦慮 </div><br /> 開放式關係,是一個選擇,如同一對一關係,是一種選擇,對我而言,沒有好或不好,僅有合適或不合適於自己及伴侶。 <br /><br />個人經驗中,我通常不過問伴侶要找誰出門,對我來說,這不是逃避,而是讓自己心態上舒服一點。 <br /><br />我也很明確知道自己的焦慮來源是(比較),不論是一對一或開放關係,只要加入了比較因素(例如誰比較高帥,誰比較有錢之類,或是比較其他項目),我就會感到焦慮。我個人不會比較,也期待對象都不比較。 <br /><br />舉實例:近期有伴侶說要跟某位男生發生肉體關係,我很開心她的誠實,但因為男生我也認識,只是沒有到很熟悉,因此就會有點焦慮。這是我要處理的課題。 <br /><br />面對伴侶可能的焦慮,我的作法是讓她知道自己獨一無二,不會誇讚其他伴侶。每段關係對我來說都是獨特的,都值得珍惜的。 <br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">K 2020/11/23</div>崔妮http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393668388793008716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-44946706786069190832020-09-04T09:39:00.001+08:002020-09-04T09:58:15.913+08:00【實踐者學習-道德浪女讀書會】003場共筆<p> <span style="color: #666666; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">【實踐者學習-道德浪女讀書會】</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">003</span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">場共筆</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-11834254-7fff-6500-e56f-be09a3525310"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">許多開放式關係夥伴,會在實踐之外,透過不同管道汲取開放式關係的知識與能量!近來有一群夥伴們,一同閱讀了開放式關係經典「道德浪女」後,大方分享閱讀重點與心得,讓我們一起看看這段精華,也別忘了在心裡感謝此些共筆人唷!</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">浪女讀書會《</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">003</span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">場》會後共筆</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">閱讀範圍:道德浪女第三部</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">參與者:喬、han、小光、駿、李品毅、</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">、浪浪、三媽</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">讀書會日期:</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2020/8/24</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">會前</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">QA</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Q1</span><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">:你會怎麼描述第三部的內容給你朋友聽?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)如何開放關係,並與伴侶對話及共處。在越過道德邊境後,我們要學習面對真實的自己,嫉妒跟衝突在所難免,第三章將為我們解惑。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(浪)開放關係裡,遇到的挑戰,大眾公認最棘手的問題:包含忌妒與衝突。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">RC</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)第三部是在告訴讀者,開放式關係容易遇到的情緒與衝突,還有擁抱情緒、面對衝突的方法,我覺得講的內容其實不侷限於開放式關係,在一對一關係中依然重要,傳統關係常致力於將人塞進框架裡,在乎「應該」而不在乎「感覺」,然而我認為這段講的是建立關係的重要基石,從自己對自己,到一對一,多對多,都適用。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(光)我會跟朋友說,《道德浪女》第三部描述了情感議題的核心關鍵。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(毅)不論是經營什麼關係,都是非常重要的部分,任何關係都非常值得參考這個部分,往往也是一段關係破裂與存續的關鍵,推薦!</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(翔)嫉妒及衝突-這似乎是跟人相處就一定會遇到的問題。不只是在感情的方面,任何的人際關係之間這都是每個人會遇到的問題,或許我們有自己解決的方法,或許逃避這樣的感受是我們一直在做的…但如果願意在這方面有所提升,這個章節提供給我們許多有效的方式來面對嫉妒、處理衝突並提出一些達成協議的有效方法。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三媽)無論堅守一對一關係或是開放式關係實踐,我覺得《道德浪女》第三部講述的內容,適用於每一位在關係裡的人,特別推薦給總是在關係裡覺得負面的朋友。這部分主要講述的是關於關係中最容易讓人負面的部分-忌妒與衝突,書中不直接教我們如何解決這些負面,而是引導我們面對。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(駿)第三部所提到的內容主要是在說明與人產生連結實際上所會遇到的問題,以及實際上的解決方式,包含察覺自己的情緒、溝通、達成協議和開放既有關係,既然是人與人之間的連結,無論是什麼樣子的關係或是問題,也許都能在第三部找到解決問題的開端,尤其是第</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">15</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">章〈嫉妒地圖〉,能讓自己更能了解自己的情緒並與之共處,是一輩子都要好好面對的問題。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Q2</span><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">:請對作者提出至少一個關於第三部內容中你的疑問。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)在擁抱衝突中,我只有一個疑惑,我從</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">年前漸漸走入開放式關係後,不曾跟任何伴侶吵過架,或是說,沒有任何衝突。我的方式是,維持不太黏膩的關係。但文章的前提是,吵架是必須的。</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">如果我來調整文章,我認為是大量溝通是必須的,不要擔心吵架。</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">因此,我的提問是:大家認為吵架是必須的嗎?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(浪)忌妒的原因有很多種,也包含每個人的個性,你們心中,覺得怎樣特性的人最不適合走開放關係或是他的忌妒處理很差?要是他沒辦法度過,要怎麼陪伴他?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">RC</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)嫉妒看起來有點被當作關係中會遇到的麻煩,必須解決,我想問作者,嫉妒既然存在,或許有他能帶來的好處吧?好處會是什麼?如何在處理嫉妒的同時留下他的好處?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(光)</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">p.220</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">「治好不被愛的恐懼有一個方法,就是記得愛人的感覺多麼好。如果你覺得不被愛,而你想要好起來的話,就去愛某個人,看看會發生什麼事」</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">對這個作法頗有疑問?</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">如果愛的對象感到困擾或完全沒有辦法給予正面回應,那是否反而會造成反效果。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(毅)開放既有的一對一關係時,一個本身不認可開放式關係的人,是否真的有機會可以開放成呢?還是成功幾乎都只有在雙方對這樣關係的價值取向是認可的時候,一段封閉的關係才有可能開放呢?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(翔)好奇一些有伴侶的開放式關係怎麼去平衡自己很難去探索到新對象,而伴侶可以有各種探索跟實踐的這種不平衡感?這對我來說似乎不像是一種嫉妒的感受</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">...</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">也不會引起衝突,就有一種失落感,似乎也不是伴侶能共同面對的,好奇其他實踐者如何去處理這樣的感受。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三媽)請問到底甚麼是忌妒呢?我覺得我是個愛比較的人,但我好像不怎麼會忌妒?還是我搞錯忌妒的意思了呢?在讀第三部的時候,不太覺得自己是會忌妒的人,不是很切身體會這樣子的情緒?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(駿)作者對於自己給自己的安全感,似乎就是以誠實與自己情緒相處,以行動的方式找到出口,但在心態建立上,最中心的想法是什麼?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Q3</span><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">:請推薦</span><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1-3</span><span style="background-color: #cccccc; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">本想在這個讀書會一起讀的書,並說明為什麼想在這裡一起讀。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span><span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">《夾縫中的女人》</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">,描寫女性第三者的處境與心態,我認為其實小王或小三都是夾縫中的角色,也許這本書搭配道德浪女,許多問題可以有方向解答。</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">在書中有一段話,很有意思:「我很清楚我想和男人發展什麼樣的關係。與其他感情相比,婚外情更接近我想要的理想狀態,可能是因為不需要為了小事情爭執,保有自我也不成問題,兩個人真的是站在同一邊的。這不正是我們在兩性關係中想要的嗎?男人不是對立的一方時,我可以與他共度一些時光。這個情人不是我們的對手,因為他不需要非得擁有我。他已經有了別人,就不需要擁有你。」</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">當然,我不認為第三者是道德的,但只要彼此都同意,也許是更棒的選擇。閱讀此須,應該可以更理解不同角度的第三者心態。</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">《我們為何戀愛?為何不忠?:讓人類學家告訴你愛情的真相》</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">這本書的序言中有以下描述:本書解析了「誰會愛上你,你會愛上誰」的祕密。事實上,我的研究表明,多巴胺、血清素、睪固酮和雌激素這四種化學物質,決定了人的四種基本性格類型:開拓者、建設者、領導者和協調者。我認為可以從這些研究,看看哪些類型的人適合開放式關係。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(浪)</span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">《療癒,從感受情緒開始》</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">在讀書會總能得到很多能量或想法,正像滿滿,要是讀點療癒的書,感覺會更正向。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">RC</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)我想選</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">《</span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Urban Tantra, Barbara Carrellas</span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">》</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">這本書,他是講譚崔技巧的,目的是加強性愛的張力和連結,內容也包含各種性傾向與癖好,我跟讀書會的大家還不熟,不過感覺上大家是享受性愛並熱衷實踐相關知識的,所以覺得大家或許會有興趣。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(光)</span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">《情欲徒刑》</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">,因為死床議題很常見,在我個人所知的樣本數中,好像沒有長期伴侶不死床的。似乎是在長期關係中的人勢必會面臨的議題,很值得大家一起來交流探討。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(毅)推薦</span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">《關係花園》</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">,可以很好的替道德浪女這本書中的與嫉妒與強烈情緒這兩個部分最很棒的補充,更多的實踐描述。直接複製波栗推薦書目中的本書介紹:內容並未直接討論開放關係或多重伴侶,但關於伴侶關係的本質、內涵、期待與界線,有時十分深入與警醒的討論,尤其建議閱讀第</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">11</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">章到第</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">14</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">章。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(翔)</span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">《交涉的藝術》</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">這次的讀書會討論的章節,很大一部分都在討論協議,在這本書提供了一個跟混亂做朋友的方式來探討在商務上怎麼做出對雙方有利的協議,(作者將交涉過程,比喻為爵士樂演奏。)而感情務實上其實同樣可以運用,提供給大家參考。</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">《單向度的人》</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">這是讀書會前看到的推薦書單的選書之一。會經營開放關係的人一定的程度上都有著渴望自由的靈魂,這本書讓我們了解這社會的枷鎖會是怎樣的形式,可以讓我們更加確立我們要追求的自由究竟是什麼。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三媽)</span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">《愛的藝術》</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">,作者弗洛姆用哲學的角度理性分析關於愛的行為,我自己很喜歡書中的切入點,也覺得這樣子的切入方式有助於我們理解和實踐開放式關係。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 36.00000000000001pt; margin-top: 12pt; padding: 0pt 0pt 0pt 36.00000000000001pt; text-indent: -36.00000000000001pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(駿)</span><span style="background-color: #d9ead3; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">《當你所愛之人有特殊性癖》</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">面對性癖如果能以開放討論的方式再搭配書本,或許能事半功倍,更勇於接受或認清自己的性癖。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">文本</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">/</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">經驗討論</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: red; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">第十五章 嫉妒地圖</span><span style="color: red; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">--什麼是嫉妒?你的嫉妒長什麼樣子?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(光)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">嫉妒:你和別人做某件事我不開心</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">羨慕:你和別人做某件事我不會不開心</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">只是想要</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">自認不太嫉妒</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">也不太羨慕</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">但是會很想參與</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">得到訊息可以有滿足感</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(喬)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">羨慕</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">=</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">想要別人有的</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">嫉妒</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">=</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">不想要別人有他有的</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我的嫉妒:</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">對未知的害怕</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">自卑被觸發</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">害怕被拋棄</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我會很理性地指出一大堆對方沒做好的事情,變成在事務上辯論,但其實是情緒</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(駿)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">小劇場很多</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">某些部份很自卑</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">害怕被取代</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">怕對方離開</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)事後補充</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">怕自己比不過別人或失去自己擁有的</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: red; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">第十五章</span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: red; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">嫉妒地圖</span><span style="color: red; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">--你如何面對嫉妒?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(毅)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">「我覺得把我不如別人的地方告訴你很羞恥,但還是想告訴你。」這句話講出來就氣氛軟化了。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(三)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">寫出來之後,因為有不只一個夠親近的人,丟給三個人分別詢問。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">開放關係讓自己有比較多資源。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(喬)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">忌妒感是一個尖叫的小孩</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">想要被看見</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">跟他待在一起</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">安慰他</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">就會好很多</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)事後補充</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">承認自己會嫉妒,也願意跟伴侶或喜愛的人分享自己感受與期待</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">然後安排好自己的時間跟生活,會漸漸減少嫉妒感</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">預防跟治療</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">預防:好好照顧自己,建立關係的珍惜點</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">治療:伴侶出去約會的時候,和情緒跑出來的時候</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: red; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">第十六章 擁抱衝突、第十七章</span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: red; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">達成協議</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(光)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">否決權。「你的伴侶我不喜歡可以有否決權嗎」</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">男性這麼難找約會對象</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">你還要否決權</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(喬)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">關於否決權。小男友沒有否決權</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">關係確實是存在不平等的。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">男友約會對象我很瞧不起</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">後來的解決方式是直接跟對方建立關係</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">以及減少見面機會</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">關於沅晟消失沒跟境含講一聲</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">小光說「就算要跑路也要講一聲吧</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">可以借你一點盤纏啊」</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">真是打中我</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)事後補充</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">如果愛是無限的,否決權就沒有存在,因為彼此都有更多選擇,而依照文中所說,剛交往的可以有否決權,交往久了,也許就不用否決權了。</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: red; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">第十八章</span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="color: red; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">開放一段既有的關係</span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">/</span><span style="color: red; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">其他話題</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(毅)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">東南亞人在</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">okc</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">上面寫</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">non-monogamous</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">的很多。</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">隨著閱讀的增加,參與者們開始延伸其他文本,也回頭觀照自身狀況。而在嫉妒、衝突與協議的討論中,也有許多「需要先面對、照顧自己,並向伴侶承認心情」的感想,提供另一個視角來處理關係中的事件。期待其他場次的分享,也謝謝看到這邊的你。</span></p></span>candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-57665023424090547762020-08-15T22:24:00.007+08:002020-08-18T11:43:27.732+08:00【實踐者學習-道德浪女讀書會】002場共筆<p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: 新細明體, serif;">許多開放式關係夥伴,會在實踐之外,透過不同管道汲取開放式關係的知識與能量!近來有一群夥伴們,一同閱讀了開放式關係經典「道德浪女」後,大方分享閱讀重點與心得,讓我們一起看看這段精華,也別忘了在心裡感謝此些共筆人唷!</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p><span style="color: #666666;"> </span></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #666666;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">浪女讀書會《</span><span lang="">002</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">場》會後共筆</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #666666;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">閱讀範圍:道德浪女第二部</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #666666;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">參與者:喬、</span><span lang="">han</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">、浪浪、李品毅、</span><span lang="">K</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">、小光、駿</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #666666;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">讀書會日期:</span><span lang="">2020</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">年</span><span lang="">8</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">月</span><span lang="">3</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">日</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p><span style="color: #666666;"> </span></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #666666;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">前情提要《【實踐者學習-道德浪女讀書會】</span><span lang="">001</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">場共筆》:</span></span><span lang=""><span style="color: #666666;">http://polyamory-tw.blogspot.com/2020/08/001.html</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">謝謝各位的參與,身為這場導讀的我,討論中間有一度當機說不出話,因為大家給的想法太精采,不得不停下來咀嚼。真是值得珍惜的時刻。(喬)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">【第一部複習】</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">為何自稱浪女?(第一章)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">當一個男人幹很多人,我們稱呼他種馬、</span><span lang="">player</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">,這些字裡面都有羨慕的意味。不過當一個女人幹很多人,我們怎麼稱呼他們?破麻,破鞋,公車,蕩婦。裡面可是一點羨慕都沒有。性解放運動的人認為,性本身,以及由性所驅動的愛,是世界上良善的基本動力。所以要把「浪女」這個詞奪回來,重新賦予他我們想要的內涵。歷史上把稱呼奪回的例子很多,例如酷兒運動,也都是非常政治化的例子。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">浪女想要挑戰的是哪些迷思?(第二章)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">關於戀愛,很多我們理所當然認為的「應該」,都是文化的產物。意思是,是社會教我們的,是我們的爸媽、學校課本、同學、小說電影、讓人羨慕的大明星、社會透過這些管道把各種應該教導給我們,其中有些是實用的資訊,有些則是值得好好檢視的迷思。這些迷思包括:「做愛很多是不道德的」,「做愛很多就是性成癮」,「長期的一對一關係是唯一真實的情感關係」,「只有在承諾的關係裡發生性行為才合乎道德」,「愛一個人就多少有權力控制他」,「嫉妒是無可避免且不能克服的」,以及「與他人交往會減低原本關係的親密程度」。第二章好好的把這些迷思拿出來討論。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">【第二部開始:浪女的實踐】</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: red;">愛是不是有限的?(第八章)</span></span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我們被教導想得到愛需要競爭,愛是有限的,要努力爭取才不會被搶走。在這套信念下,如果你愛第二個人,對第一個人的愛勢必會減少。但這是真的嗎?</span><span lang=""> p.117</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">很精彩,可參考原文。如果愛是無限的,那我們感覺到的匱乏感是哪來的?真正有限的是這些東西:時間,空間,物品,和</span><span lang="">...</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">體液。但如果認清有限的是這些,其實剩下的都是處理策略的問題而已。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span lang="">>>>> </span><span face="">討論:很深入的討論大家對於「愛是無限的」的看法,發現分成無限派和有限派</span></span><span lang=""><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">XDDD</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: red;">技術:成為一個厲害的浪女要學會哪些事情?(第九章)</span></span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">其實並不是性愛技術哈哈。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">溝通,溝通要先學會的是怎麼讓對方感覺到你有聽見他。</span></li><li><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">脆弱的時候,我們都害怕開口,好像求來的關愛就比較不值錢。我們也會因為害怕被拒絕而不敢開口說出自己的需求。溝通的第二步,就是說出自己的情緒,和說出自己的需求。</span></li><li><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">第三件事情,就是有效的傳達愛和承諾,給重要的人。</span></li><li><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">第四個,設定自己的界線。我們都有過因為溫柔而順著對方,結果自己的不舒服慢慢累積的經驗,應該也很多人有過累積最後爆炸的經驗。所以學會拒絕才那麼重要。拒絕不只是說出不,更是對自己的感覺時時刻刻檢視,知道自己哪時候不舒服了。當你能明確的拒絕,你的同意才更有重量。</span></li></ol><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">除了這四樣最重要的,還有一些:規劃時間,探索自己的成見,掌握自己的感覺,學習從翻船爬起來,以及說實話。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: red;">浪女就是來者不拒?(第十章)</span></span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">在開放關係裡,因為沒有人擁有別人,所以界線尤其重要。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">在界線之內,你和你自己的情緒得和平共處。意思是,當你感到吃醋、不安全、害怕,沒有人有義務要做出改變來解決你的情緒。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">只有當你先認識到情緒是自己的,你才能做出不侵害他人界線的求援。為自己的情緒負責,不表示你必須靠自己唷。這部分可以看一下</span><span lang="">p.141</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">在界線上,則是伴侶之間的關係。這部分我覺得我們談過非常多非常深入了,就先不多說。值得一提的是這本書提到在不同關係裡你會扮演不同的角色,你成為的每個角色之間和關係之間的界線互相碰觸的時候也會發生有趣的事情。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">關於浪女的獨立性和主動性,</span><span lang="">p.146</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">的自白非常精彩。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span lang=""><o:p> </o:p></span><span lang="">>>>> </span><span face="">討論:倒垃圾跟誠實分享感覺有什麼差別(喬)</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="background-color: #eeeeee;">是否有表達自己的期待。(K)</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">自己先處理過。例如從語氣和態度,以及可以清楚說出負面情緒的來源。(光)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">能表達出憤怒之前的其他初級情緒,例如恐懼、悲傷等。(毅)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="background-color: #eeeeee;">能表達自己只是需要抱怨,沒有要對方負責。(K)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p> </o:p></span> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span lang="">>>>> </span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">討論:講出情緒,就算自己處理過了,還是可能被對方當成情緒勒索?(光)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="background-color: #eeeeee;">需要說的人界線明確,聽的人也不把對方的情緒往身上扛,情緒勒索要放在關係脈絡裡面討論。(喬)</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">容易把別人的情緒當成自己的責任,覺得自己被指責做錯什麼事,然後就生氣。(</span><span lang="">han</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">同上。(駿)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">需要認識到不是一定要有人犯錯才會有情緒產生。(</span><span lang="">han</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">)</span></span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p> </o:p></span> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span lang="">>>>> </span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">討論:大家都很會獨處ㄇ(</span><span lang="">han</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="background-color: #eeeeee;">冥想兩小時。(毅)</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">爬山和運動。(光)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">假獨處和真獨處。(喬)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">看書</span><span lang="">/</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">看電影</span><span lang="">/</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">自慰。(</span><span lang="">K</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">很難把意識投向自己的內在,都在彈吉他看書看漫畫。(</span><span lang="">han</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">只有洗澡其他都在假獨處。(駿)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="background-color: #eeeeee;">有一段時間沈迷交友軟體,很害怕獨處的感覺,最近試著給自己時間,練琴練琴(假獨處)。(浪)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: red;">可能不道德的浪女(第十一章)</span></span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">-賺取徽章和得分</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">-長久以來都從事無共識的非一對一行為</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">-拒絕隔絕措施的人</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">-承諾做不到的事情</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">-為了傷害人而跟別人做愛的報復性愛</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">-不誠實</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span lang="">>>>> </span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">討論:這些爛事大家做過哪些?(喬)</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">全部都做過,說謊騙對方,是因為不敢講,因為不想花時間處理衝突,或是沒有能力處理。(</span><span lang="">han</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">要用身體記得,說出來是不可怕的。(毅)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">亂給承諾未必不道德。(光)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="background-color: #eeeeee;">欺騙過前男友。(浪)</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: red;">調情,安全性行為,怎麼教小孩(第十二至十四章)</span></span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">其中值得一提的是</span><span lang="">p.158</span><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">浪女現身,上次讀書會有談過,也是社團裡面的月經題,到底哪時候要對約會對象出櫃?書裡的建議是:越早越好。</span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face="" style="font-family: 新細明體, serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: #666666;">經過了第一章中浪女的概念、揭示浪女所面對的情境,第二章踏入浪女實踐的起步。立刻面對的是如何準備自己,以及一些不太好的榜樣(笑)。相信能讓經驗豐富者會心一笑、初實踐者豁然瞭解些什麼、希望實踐者有個心理準備。期待其他場次的分享,也謝謝看到這邊的你。</span></span><span lang=""><o:p></o:p></span></p><br /><p></p>candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-13372426025105260512020-08-14T14:33:00.002+08:002020-08-18T11:42:58.213+08:00【實踐者學習-道德浪女讀書會】001場共筆<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-fc1faf51-7fff-7bf8-d248-a218dd1af707"><span face="" style="color: #666666; font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">許多開放式關係夥伴,會在實踐之外,透過不同管道汲取開放式關係的知識與能量!近來有一群夥伴們,一同閱讀了開放式關係經典「道德浪女」後,大方分享閱讀重點與心得,讓我們一起看看這段精華,也別忘了在心裡感謝此些共筆人唷!</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">浪女讀書會《</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">001</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">場》會後共筆</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">閱讀範圍:道德浪女第一部</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">p1-p113</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">參與者:喬、</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">han</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">、浪浪、李品毅、</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">K</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">、阿鵝、翔、小光</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;">讀書會日期:2020年6月17日</p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: red; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">壹、文本討論</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">一、你有浪女認同(</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">identity</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">)嗎?你認為自己是浪女嗎?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">「我們要驕傲地收回「浪女」一詞,表達我們的認同,甚至喜愛。對我們來說,浪女</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">SLUT</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">可以是任何性別的人,只要你有勇氣以這種激進立場的歡慶性愛:性愛很好,快感對你有益。一個浪女可以選擇完全不做愛,也可以決定跟整個第五艦隊都搞一搞。他可以是異性戀、同性戀、無性戀或雙性戀,可以是激進的社運組織者,也可以是與世無爭的郊區遊民。」(</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">p.22</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">)</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">-浪女認同派-</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我是浪女!過著浪女的生活!很喜歡書裡的這句話「性與性慾之愛是善的基本動力,我們很樂意成為任何人的愉快時光」(p.21)。(喬)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我有浪女上的認同,但行動上我認為我尚未能達到浪女不欺騙及傷害他人的標準。(翔)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">將</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">SLUT</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">奉為圭臬並執行的同時,認同便已經存在。(鵝)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我超愛也認同這個詞,浪女可指男、指女,或是任何性別,我愛這個詞,它會成為負面的詞,僅僅是因為其他人賦予負面印象,我喜歡、我愛,它就是正面的詞彙。(浪浪)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">-浪人派-</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我是浪人,不是女,因為對我來說,浪是一種個性或生活態度。我不只浪,還像是一般人認為的變態。喜愛書中一句話「我會要求我想要的,拒絕我不想要的」(p.135)。我希望自己的浪可以引導更多人喜愛自己的本性,愛上自己的本性。我還有許多性幻想,也實踐許多性幻想。(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我是浪人!開始實踐後感覺超棒的,伴侶與自己都過得更自由更開心。很確定這是最適合我的情感模式!(光)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我是浪人,也與身邊的人、公眾出櫃了。但有在思考一件事情,自己的性癖好並不</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kinky</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">,是否也是這個原因,自己出櫃時比較坦然。若自己的性癖好比較特殊,或許對於出櫃就更加猶豫了。(毅)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">-調整一下更適合我派-</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 24pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">把</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">SLUT</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">翻成浪女對我來說不是最適用的詞,如果翻成賤貨我可能會比較頂得住這個認同,這本書致力於打破我原本想像的「賤貨很難當」這件事,曾經想要成為一個邊緣又自由的我自詡可以跟任何人上床,但後來慢慢認清這個可以跟任何人上床的我並不是最快樂的,我的本體畢竟是複雜的,可能是任何人在某些時刻,某些我快樂而且高昂的時刻都可以上床,但如果賤貨是這麼容易當的,我不就早就是了嗎!誠惶誠恐…(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">han</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 24pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 24pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">二、身為浪女,一定會面對的是社會的壓力。社會對浪女的害怕、排斥、或惡意長什麼樣子?浪女如何面對,是安靜的生活,試著跟能溝通的人分享,還是昭告天下用力反抗?你們有出櫃嗎?怎麼出櫃?面對什麼反應?(對家人出櫃、在交友軟體出櫃、對朋友出櫃,出櫃的內容到哪,出櫃的目的是什麼……) </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">-有喔-</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">對家人出櫃是因為務實的理由,要讓他們對我不會結婚有心理準備,也許會遇到我帶兩個男友一起出現等等。對朋友出櫃是生活中自然而然發生的事情,一開始會有點緊張,讓對方也有點緊張,但後來就越來越自然。對我來說,向所有朋友出櫃,是一種倡議手段。就算未必有討論,但至少讓他們看見這樣的生活方式是可能的,其實這樣會慢慢的改變社會。(喬)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我向家人、朋友以及部分同事出櫃,以及也常在</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">IG</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">分享經驗,有一次跟我還不錯的朋友覺得我很噁心,當下我有點難過。(浪)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">上過廣播訪談,也和伴侶在電視公開出櫃露面過。希望能藉此讓更多人正確理解開放式關係,減少污名化的情況。也有在個人臉書公開出櫃,朋友有各種不同的反應,有人好奇想了解更多;也有人無法接受;或是和我展開一場價值觀的辯論。但他們都能尊重我的個人選擇。在交友軟體是在自介就直接寫明是開放式關係實踐者,比較好篩選對象,也比較好配對到隱藏的實踐者。(光)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">與父母、朋友、社交軟體上都已出櫃。與父母出櫃時遭遇到父母帶有深深恐懼的反對,但最終父母也是能尊重自己的選擇。我認為是關鍵出櫃時的態度,若是抱持著"開放式關係才是最好的關係"的態度,勢必會遭到反對,而且出櫃時若有一絲絲自卑感受,很容易就讓對方察覺,也容易因為自卑感受而容易被挑起強烈情緒,使得出櫃變得很淒慘。是否能包容不認可自己選擇的人,同時保持平常心,是是否出櫃順利的關鍵。(李品毅)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我對家人及朋友都有出櫃,聊到就講,沒遇到什麼困難,有可能我本來就很強勢,家人與我的威權關係也解除很久了。(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">han</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">-看情況-</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我沒有對家人或朋友出櫃,面對溝通不良的父母出櫃似乎只會製造更多問題,而朋友的話我通常會先刺探對方的想法直到覺得他們大概能接受後才出櫃。(翔)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我有一位同事大概知道我的狀況,但我的家庭是極端保守教義派基督徒,我又在教育單位工作,一個談性色變的環境中,我需要扮演不一樣的角色,無法輕易談出櫃。但時機到了,我又都能分享。因為在教育單位工作以及之前的經驗,學生不管跟我談什麼,我都能傾聽跟回應,沒有事情能嚇到我,也許這是優點。要是可以出櫃,我可能會站到電視前,直接宣告吧?生活沒有任何不會發生的事情(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我的出櫃經驗都是發生在自然而然、氣氛使然的狀態下,順順利利就像水中分娩一樣,圈外的人會好奇浪女到底是怎樣,但說到底浪女百百種,還是請他們自己體驗吧(我倒是認識很多已在實踐卻不知悉浪女為何的人)。(鵝)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">三、在社會對浪女的印象中,其中一個是「偷竊者」,他們總是在尋找下手偷竊的機會,偷走別人的性,或是偷走別人的穩定關係。你有面對過這種指控嗎?我們要怎麼避開這個錯誤的譴責?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">-知情同意不當耶洗別- </span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">印象很深的是品毅提到,「浪女是執行知情同意的人」這件事,如果讓越多人知道,那麼會感覺到威脅感的人就越少。另外境含有提到,浪女社群裡面其實很少耶洗別和卡薩諾瓦這種以偷竊為樂的人。(喬)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">在道德上我個人認為每個人可以有自己的道德標準,如果他自己的道德標準覺得享受性愉悅是種偷竊(在聖經中,耶洗別是到處跟人通姦的浪女,我在《神的演化》這部作品看過耶洗別的故事,個人覺得她可能是道德浪女在聖經故事上的始祖級實踐者…),那是他的事,他的道德選擇,只要他沒有妨礙到我的自由,你要背地裡怎麼定義我那是你的問題。(翔)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">知情同意是避免被貼上偷竊標籤的好方法。(浪)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">知情同意,坦蕩蕩,從一開始就坦蕩蕩,不欺騙,是與標籤化相處的好方法。這也是我認為社群推廣時最有利的利基點。(毅)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Go die you piece of shit. </span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">han</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">-關係無法奪取,專注在培養自己、做好選擇- </span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">今晚我沒有陳述很完整。我認為在關係中,沒有任何一位可以奪走別人,任何情感關係都是你情我願。跟我們約選擇吃甚麼美食或約出遊一樣,都是自己認同後才做的決定。我不曾被說過自己是偷人者,但要是有人這樣指控我,我可能不理會他,或是邀請他一起成為開放式關係實踐者(如同我邀請人參加多人性愛,沒有體驗過的人,總是充滿恐懼,但真正體驗過,才知道原來就是這麼一回事,可以安全的高潮,還可以在活動中認識朋友)。如果對方不認同,那尊重對方,因為我會過得比指控我的人還好。附上書本的一段話「也請記住,很多人,尤其是外表差異清晰可辨的那些人,只有在自己成長的社群裡最有安全感,如果要他們跨入一個比較同質的性愛環境裡,可能得冒不小的風險。如果在你的原生社群裡出櫃為浪女會轟動武林驚動萬教,你可能會選擇犧牲你的安全感與歸屬感,而加入一個大部分人都長得跟你不一樣的社群。」(p.76)(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">「性吸引力可以靠後天補足,人格特質可以透過培養訓練。我覺得要成為更好的自己絕對不難,既然自己都那麼好了,為什麼還要擔心伴侶被偷?花花世界多的是花。」雖然很想這樣跟沒自信的人說,但他們應該不懂吧。(鵝)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">理想情況當然是徹底執行知情同意。但實際上,有很多模糊的可能。比如有實踐者覺得純約炮不需要坦承,對方是否有伴侶或處於婚姻狀態,那是對方自己要處理好的問題。當然這觀點一定有爭議,同樣是實踐者,也確實有各種想法存在。另外還有一種可能,就是對方一開始欺瞞,謊稱單身。當兩人交往到一定程度,彼此都有感情時,對方才坦承自己有伴侶或婚姻。這時是否能痛下決心割捨感情,或是因為太喜歡對方而選擇妥協,期待日後能慢慢解決問題,都是有可能的選擇。實務上的困難處就是,上述情況確實存在,面對指責時似乎也很難反駁,因為指責者是用開放式關係「知情同意」的價值觀做為基礎。提出理想與實際的差異,給大家思考一下。同樣是實踐者,在細節觀點也會有所差異。你對這種實踐者或這種情況又會抱持什麼樣的想法?有些問題不是非黑即白這麼簡單,值得思考。</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">光</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">四、對浪女來說,善待別人,避免傷害別人,是非常重要的。換句話說,浪女有自己的倫理觀念。「我們的道德標準非常務實:有人身體受傷嗎?有人心理受傷嗎?我們可以如何避免?如何支持?那件事有趣嗎?有沒有人學習或成長?這世界有因此變得更好嗎?」(</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">p.50</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">)我們今天想討論,在開放關係裡,知情同意的意思是什麼,以及知情同意是必要的嗎?為什麼是?為什麼不是?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">-知情同意是必要的-</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我覺得是首要的,隱瞞就是欺騙,欺騙在倫理上就會站不住腳。個人認為,想實踐開放式關係而不被批判,雖然可能知情同意還是會被批判,但做到坦蕩蕩真的只有知情同意一途。開放式關係就是有機會避免一對一的弊病,因此希望實踐者們都不要做一個自私的人而不落實知情同意,這樣與一對一關係中常見的欺騙現象有什麼不同呢?(毅)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">知情同意還滿讚的,大家都該試試,應該是不要看不起自己也不要看不起他人最好的方式。</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">han</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">知情同意在主要關係(兩人)之間,或是像書裡提到的家庭圈(封閉多人)之間,是無庸置疑的。但在實行上會遇到各種邊界模糊的道德難題,例如,你新認識約會的對象,沒有打算對他的伴侶知情同意,這樣你還要繼續嗎?又或例如,只見面一兩次的對象,也需要對他做到知情同意?說到底,我覺得要不要彼此知情同意,不僅是一種承諾,也是你自願給對方的一種權力。至於是否跟騙子約會,那就是個人的選擇了。我自己原則上是不做的,理由是我不願意參與傷害行為。意思是,我不願意參與我約會對象欺騙他的伴侶造成的潛在傷害。總結來說,</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">知情同意還是要放在關係中的權力來看,而且重要的是盡量避免自己可能造成的傷害。(喬)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">-如何進行-</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">知情同意在書中有一段敘述「開放關係的鐵律是:如果一對情侶或一個群體,將照顧彼此與經營關係置於第一順位,然後才考慮讓其他人加入的話,這樣的開放關係運作得最好。所以,浪女伴侶必須願意負擔這些我們將在本書稍後一一討論的工作:好好溝通,以最清醒的意識來處理嫉妒、不安全感與領域感(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">territoriality</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)等問題。在這種伴侶關係裡,你要能夠知道自己的界線並且好好溝通,能夠與人達成共識並且遵守協議,要尊重彼此的界線,以及他們為關係所設下的界線。這對情侶或群體也要記得滋養自己的連結,讓關係保持在快樂、健康、滿足的狀態。</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">情侶們也許在主要關係之外有」(p.105)越是能更坦承,就越可以不帶負面情緒的討論兩人或多人關係。我之前的幾段關係,有些是冒著被罵的風險詢問,然後彼此同意成為開放式伴侶,當對方跟伴侶出遊,一開始蠻嫉妒的,但當我們一起經歷一些事情後,我就完全接受她跟任何人約會了。因此,我認為知情同意是努力追求的目標,但要有階段性,如果對方個性敏感易受傷,一開始就不說的太清楚,過程中關注對方情緒跟需求,以伴侶為主體,最終目標是全部坦承。(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">知情同意並以不傷害他人為前提是一個完全的鐵則,但在現實的壓迫下基於個人的私欲,我認為有點難以做到。(翔)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">知情同意的對象是誰很重要。釐清自己的關係標籤後,再給自己設立下規則,一步一步慢慢來就好。(鵝)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">-輕鬆自由也可以-</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">知情同意是我心中理想的鐵則,但是我不希望控制愛人對待其他關係的方式,我的情緒也會變得很糟糕,經過討論,突然豁然開朗,我一樣可以有鐵則,也可以用輕鬆的方式看待伴侶做不到,但不要控制伴侶。(浪)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">分享最近發展中的新關係模式:「關係的無政府主義」。我與對象唯一的共識就是「不定義關係」,沒有任何協議,也不需要知情同意。這可說是開放式關係中最自由的一種模式。想不想聯絡?隨性。想不想報備行程?隨性。想不想約會?隨性。想不想告知其他關係的發展情況?隨性。兩人想做各種互動的唯一條件,就是當兩人都有意願時才成立。在這種關係模式下,知情同意竟然也不是必要條件了,很有意思。關係中不存在任何權利與義務,心情必須由自己調適好,關係的平衡全憑兩人互動的默契。當然,當兩人聯絡頻繁、主動報備行程、約會次數多、會告知其他關係發展狀況時,會感覺到關係的緊密與連接的加深。但這不代表這些行為就此成為雙方的一種默契或規範,日後就算不做,也沒有任何違反協議的問題。正如前述,雙方唯一的共識就是「不定義關係」,僅此而已。(光)</span></p></li></ul><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 20pt;"><span style="color: red; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">貳、延伸討論</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">一、即使開放關係強調兩人之間協約,但仍然可面對社會的惡意。具體來說,即使兩人有協約,但在關係破裂時,仍然有民法通姦的法律可以拿來作為攻擊對方的工具。浪女怎麼面對?</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">消極做法:不要結婚,不要搞有結婚的人</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">積極作法:倡議伴侶法</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">BONUS</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">:是否考慮尋找一個懂法律的開放關係倡議者,學習大麻議題</span></p></li></ul><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">「我們很鼓勵大家把你們的計畫與協議寫下來,特別是你們對生活型態的選擇,並且正式簽名。……這宣示就可用來證明當初大家共組家庭、建立關係的意願,每個人的承諾也會很清楚。在共組家庭的時候,大家一起把家庭的願景寫下來,這件事情本身就有正面價值。」(p.85)前一段是書中的內容,我相信只要我們也是這樣做,認真照顧關係,也有契約,加上有努力透過律師及法官協助,這樣傷害應該能降到最低。(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">二、伴侶跟其他人上床時會有焦慮嗎,怎麼面對那些焦慮?</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">一開始很焦慮,一群人一起做愛跟聊天,自己生活又很忙,就習慣了。(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">伴侶的事是他的事他要自己決定。我的焦慮嫉妒等負面情緒是我的事,我可以自己決定。(鵝)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我的焦慮比較是擔心伴侶的安全問題</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">...</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">不過也是久了就習慣了。</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">翔)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1-</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">寫下交往美好的回憶,並且閱讀。</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2-</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">冥想。</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">浪)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">一開始會後來就習慣了,很享受擁有自己的空間。但我會很需要知道對方幾點回來,因為我才知道我可以獨享家裡到幾點!(喬)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">三、在新的關係一開始就要提自己認同開放關係嗎?還是慢慢透露? </span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我期待是一開始就表示認同,在主流社會卻常這樣被討厭或被罵。因此有時候還是慢慢透露。(</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">K</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">我會在相處的時候提供一些資訊及問題試探,如果覺得對方有較高的機率接受才會透露,如果不能接受,我會拒絕或是漸漸遠離這段關係。(翔)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">看當下氣氛,有些人認真不能接受,不打擾就是我的溫柔。(鵝)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">一開始就說,藉以篩選掉不認可開放式關係的人,不想要維繫關係的動力是各類型恐懼。(毅)</span></p></li><li dir="ltr" style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">在</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">app</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">首頁就放上男友的連結了。就像我也都會先開宗明義問清楚對方</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1-</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">有沒有在騙女友?</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2-</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">有沒有我不能接受的政治傾向?有些事勉強沒幸福的</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">lol</span><span face="" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">。(喬)</span></p></li></ul><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 20pt;"><span style="color: red; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">參、喜歡的段落</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">迷思認為與他人交往會減低原本關係裡的親密程度。這個迷思告訴你,與別人上床是你</span><span style="background-color: yellow; color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">對</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">你的伴侶做了一件事情,而不是你</span><span style="background-color: yellow; color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">為</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">你自己做了一件事情。而且那是你對你的伴侶所能做的最壞的事。(</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">p.43</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">) </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">有一種看法認為愛情、親密關係、人際聯繫是有限的,如果你把它給了一個人,一定是從另一個人奪走了一些,這叫</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">starvation economy</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">。區別</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">starvation economy</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">和真實世界中的限制是很重要的。例如時間是真的有限的。但愛在真實世界裡並不是有限的。(</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">p.50</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">) </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">這本書的第一版,副標題是「通往性愛的無限可能的一部指南」。現在我們老了些,也聰明了些,我們覺得那個句子雖然口氣不小,其實還是太自我設限:浪女生涯意味著所有的無限可能,不是只有性愛的無限可能。(</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">p.98</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">) </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">關於「跟朋友上床了」</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">......</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">也許你擔心你的性慾可能會害你失去最好的朋友,但有經驗的浪女,可能正奇怪著你為何還沒跟他做過愛呢,因為他唯一沒幹過的朋友就是你了。(</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">p.100</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">) </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">浪女怎麼看一對一關係?對於深思熟慮的浪女來說,他是無限多可能之中的一種。一對一帶來一些風險也提供一些收穫,對很多人來說,他是個很棒的選擇,無論暫時性或永久性的一對一。「一對一關係聽起來像某種奇特的</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">BDSM</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">約定喔:相約只跟一個人分享性愛。不是錯啦,當然,只要兩個人都同意</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">......</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">」(</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">p.111</span><span style="color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">)</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">感謝以上大大無私分享!</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">書籍、電影等等其他文本素材,提供我們在自身有限的時空中,汲取他人經驗的好管道。與自身經驗對照的討論更增添文本的應用性,也讓無緣與他人面對面討論「道德浪女」的朋友們加減止飢。期待其他場次的分享,也謝謝看到這邊的你。</span></p></span></span></div>
candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-33376446672195770852019-07-09T15:47:00.002+08:002019-07-09T15:51:09.519+08:00【交換日記讀者來稿】2019.7.9 #紅樺#日常 #社群對話 #人我界線練習<br />
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某一天社群的每月講座後大家依舊留下來聊天,當次講座主題是開放式關係,儘管這是發生在以另一個主題為核心的社群,但是開放式關係是最近被越來越多人討論處理的話題。正好聊到朋友A和伴侶之間的不愉快,我順帶提起一個已經對自己解決也和伴侶處理完的相處方式問題。A和B是生理男性,我們是認識應該有幾年的朋友。<br />
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後來有一天我到伴侶住處過夜的時候和他說了這段故事。他用一種戲謔的語氣對我鼓掌,說我終於發現真理了。說起來我不討厭這個互動,只是有時候真的會覺得這讓我無法判斷狀況。反覆講了很多次,東摸摸西摸摸來往很多次,換過很多種處理態度和情境,現在我好一點了。說起來是個小到不行的事,下面是我和AB的對話概要。<br />
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我:我前陣子也有一個讓我覺得很困擾的問題。就是他的椅子很低,位置在水壺後面,我每次要繞過去倒水或者經過他的時候他都會伸手摸我的大腿一把。<br />
A:那有什麼問題嗎?<br />
我:沒什麼問題,我會覺得他是不是想說什麼,所以就會停下來問他怎麼了。<br />
AB:那然後呢?<br />
我:他會說沒什麼,他就只是想摸我<br />
AB:那又怎麼了嗎?<br />
我:我覺得這樣很奇怪,每一次都會有這樣的狀況,所以我就跟他說我想專心一下,先不要摸我。然後我會覺得開始被用一種小動物的眼神看著。<br />
A:一種小動物求關愛的眼神<br />
我:對,我就會覺得很莫名,我想要專心一點。不是說我不喜歡待在一起工作,可是這樣很奇怪。我還是很喜歡一起工作。<br />
A:聽起來他只是想要摸你而已,就這樣。<br />
B:對啊聽起來他只是想要摸你<br />
我:可是這對我來說是要說什麼的意思<br />
A:男生有時候很單純的<br />
B:(點頭)<br />
我:(不可置信地看著兩個人)<br />
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by 紅樺 2019.7.9<br />
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candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-42794707555797409922019-05-21T17:12:00.000+08:002019-05-21T17:31:23.611+08:00【交換日記】請記得月底前完成所得稅申報 #Rabbit<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZDgAAA87QMvE0MBLRTW1xP2EqH8aUk9ByX28lC-PVCveys3tnA3jemUrHg4uDCOWysnyLFh91tHPpY3GpahAcRfSpXRArdGnmn1-O0N54OupVmhQvnP5gFSq-_rv6lRC1xlBrBLImQqg/s1600/43487517622_5525852612_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="993" data-original-width="1600" height="395" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZDgAAA87QMvE0MBLRTW1xP2EqH8aUk9ByX28lC-PVCveys3tnA3jemUrHg4uDCOWysnyLFh91tHPpY3GpahAcRfSpXRArdGnmn1-O0N54OupVmhQvnP5gFSq-_rv6lRC1xlBrBLImQqg/s640/43487517622_5525852612_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/143106192@N03/43487517622/in/photolist-29fQTUA-23Bi9EV-cyasuC-keTZG5-nJ624F-ntnpS9-28gSPsE-29DBMaU-bgfFKc-kA56yp-dELZb3-nUni3b-bidoyn-dLxnN-bzib2K-TexQiB-6fpNHF-24iGCpo-o5NFyF-4fq5DH-6jWNb5-e4Bgm-bAsQrP-pGFWyh-Nqd6Zk-o8iTrS-8j2hc-q1zGBM-om1vJw-9CjBxE-nHmSsm-5woEP8-B1wPAf-iNL7Gw-4wPt8s-TQ4Gr5-TTCDEZ-eAUhRG-qGkAdj-7JaQnR-qGtgui-SCu2qh-r8gAeF-MezXZW-qYU3X6-9VzXJ9-btTCP2-q2TLkN-qYPiDN-2fH82qa">Mike Cohen</a>, CC BY 2.0</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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各位實踐者,以及各位關心開放式關係的捧優們,都知道這個月要報稅嗎?<br />
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自從開始吃頭路以後,每年一次的報稅總是令人火大。在社會身份上,我是個單身青年,有在上班還算是個中產階級,用不到常見的福利諸如老年、創業與育兒津貼等,但又住在一個公共建設略少的地區,再加上自己個性上的小氣巴拉,就覺得稅金的效益都沒怎麼回饋到自己身上,因此往往到了五月就會很易怒,並且絞盡一切的腦汁,想著要怎麼做才能減稅。<br />
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是故,連續好幾年,我都會在五月期間,向伴侶求婚,接著得到「冷靜一點,下個月再說」的答案,然而到了下個月,我就不會那麼想結婚,也因此,這件事情就這樣的無限延宕……<br />
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前幾天,同性婚姻向前邁了超超超超超大的一步,對於政府政策優良化相當有感,加上財政部的減稅政策,使得雖然還不到完全免稅,但也覺得這一小筆錢(以及以前的不少錢),繳得算是有價值了。<br />
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於是乎,我今年就不再想破頭的找尋減稅妙方。我依然愛著我的伴侶,但我今年不需要跟伴侶結婚了。<br />
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前幾天,AZ帶我出門,把我照顧得無微不至。一路上,怕我冷了、怕我餓了、怕我累了……等等族繁不及備載(差點覺得他是我阿嬤),在感動萬分之下,我對他說「我真的好開心喔,你對我這麼好,而我又不用跟你結婚。」接著AZ回答「是,真的太好了,我們不用結婚。」<br />
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世界是真的有好一點點對吧?想結婚的人們之中,有更多人真的可以結婚了,而不想結婚的人們之中,至少有我們,是快樂的。<br />
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有在吃頭路的各位,也要記得要在月底前完成申報所得稅喔,本兔前兩年都忘記要在期限內完成申報,還得再跑一趟稅捐處,而且還要不斷回答身旁的同事朋友「不是整個五月都可以報嗎?」的這種害羞問題,很不方便……<br />
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by Rabbit 2019.5.21candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-6427880248294722652019-04-24T16:18:00.001+08:002019-04-24T16:18:19.778+08:00【交換日記讀者來稿】站在世界的邊緣 #辻泠<br />
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我坐副駕</span> <span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">幫他連藍牙播音樂</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">潘雲安的聲線在夜風裡並不突兀</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">.....</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">突如其來的美夢</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">是你離去時捲起的泡沫</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">踢著石頭</span> <span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">默默的走</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">突如其來的念頭</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">幻想化成流星的你我</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">明亮的夜</span> <span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">漆黑的宇宙</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「你最近很喜歡這首歌喔」我笑著問他</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">『覺得蠻適合晚上聽的啊』他的回應也帶著笑意</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">後來聽見這首都會想到</span><span lang="EN-US">C<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">好久以後</span><span lang="EN-US"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">W</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">和我約了酒吧敘舊</span> <span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">聊起了從前</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「在</span><span lang="EN-US">C</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">莫名跟我斷連之前</span> <span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我們還好好聊天的時候</span> <span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">他曾說他沒愛過我」邊說我邊接過</span><span lang="EN-US">W</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">手中的啤酒,順順的大喝一口</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">『不欸,我覺得那時候</span><span lang="EN-US">C</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">明明蠻喜歡你的』</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我靜默,心上某處的皺褶</span> <span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">輕描淡寫的被稍稍撫了一下</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">畢竟後來</span><span lang="EN-US">C</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">選擇不直接溝通便逃跑,踩碎了我的信任</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「如果我不走非典型親密關係,是不是結果就會不一樣了啊」我孬孬弱弱的嘟囔著問</span><span lang="EN-US">W</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">,好像這樣就不會被對方的回答打到一樣</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">『我覺得會欸』但</span><span lang="EN-US">W</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">還是直直的投給我一記力道超強的球</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">心情再度微微揪著</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">早就不是第一次因為坦承開放式</span> <span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">遇到這種相愛卻無能為力的挫敗惆悵感了</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「但不誠實或不走開放式,都違反我的價值觀,也已經不是我了吧」</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我跟</span><span lang="EN-US">C <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">也是個「如果當時不怎樣怎樣,最後還是會走到怎樣怎樣」這殊途同歸的情況吧</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">______________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">4/24<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>4:54 a.m.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我房間裡的音樂繼續單曲循環放著:</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">....</span><span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我會披星戴月的想你</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">遠方煙火越來越唏噓</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">凝視前方身後的距離</span><span lang="EN-US">....<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體",serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">而我也繼續站在世界的邊緣奮不顧身的前進著</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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by 辻泠 2019.4.24</div>
<br />candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-5954717800675246552019-04-24T00:07:00.000+08:002019-04-24T00:09:06.855+08:00【交換日記】飢餓遊戲 #Rabbit<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlyqQMzaDrl6hjjwu-Ysdx_hwGRfBip6zANV_H6Yd3YNRBhIrXzL71AaCr77dQ2clymtu3d1k71OPBb4FZhTuzkzobGfV9v5qRB22Auqxh2omOnfwPdzFHsokaS1PIFNcCtyWDFoREQM8/s1600/3904419596_459a540d7d_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1063" data-original-width="1600" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlyqQMzaDrl6hjjwu-Ysdx_hwGRfBip6zANV_H6Yd3YNRBhIrXzL71AaCr77dQ2clymtu3d1k71OPBb4FZhTuzkzobGfV9v5qRB22Auqxh2omOnfwPdzFHsokaS1PIFNcCtyWDFoREQM8/s400/3904419596_459a540d7d_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/51035610542@N01/3904419596/in/photolist-6X2aVf-63vt4q-Ft1qXz-hhtpNs-8oj7VF-quPJyg-8oj4Da-27SJiVo-avn17w-dBFABa-8R9S7q-84kAH7-84kwrJ-6uGwk6-84htpx-84kyVy-9Qxg5W-69NxZL-84htDx-27KxPLG-pQW6SN-JSw7r2-RqZn8e-9pEVtm-TTART6-63M6qZ-cfBhuA-2dnB7Zh-5qSZD3-4SCM3T-9JAfAe-Fuytq-oXzRDu-czjhcY-21EbCQM-bNyCXF-bumuNY-6TttD-oXzPry-9cyrpU-6Qv5wc-oXBHNt-8FHnSu-h7aoDF-4VPkrQ-oF851b-8d64Bz-acGH43-dagiNo-fyiYXj">Matthias Weinberger</a>, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0</td></tr>
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這幾個禮拜,我感覺經常處在陪伴需求上的飢餓狀態。事實上,與伴侶們見面的頻率,並沒有比以前減少,但我的需求卻好像上升了。<br />
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我會想要向伴侶索討的元素,一直以來都很偏食,這些元素包含對方對我的專注與容忍,以及我會希望,我所喜愛的他的特質,能夠只發揮在我喜歡的情境之中。而這樣的偏食,使得這些元素只要稍微出現一點偏軌,我就會馬上營養不良。<br />
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就算是吃再多補充品都不夠,更別提也沒什麼補充品可吃…(默)。<br />
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由於總之暫時就是餓著,所以吃點美好的回憶止飢,於是想起了很多不錯的事物,又可以抱著被子渡過一個夜晚。<br />
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by Rabbit 2019.4.23candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-72217800656366582692019-04-22T21:08:00.000+08:002019-04-22T21:15:19.534+08:00【交換日記讀者來稿】Welcome to the real world #Jack<br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">最近因為動了個小手術,後頸每天都貼著一塊保護傷口的紗布。坐在我後方的同事看到了問:欸</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Jack</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">,你要進去了嗎?插頭在哪裡?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">他覺得我的背影遠遠看起來像從駭客任務(</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">The Matrix</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">)裡走出來的人。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">其實想想也是滿像的。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">每天到公司戴上耳機後就是整天的左腦高負<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a>載,常常連下班約會都要一兩個小時才能感覺到右腦終於又被輸進了足夠的血液:即使桌上擺著美味的食物,對面坐著可愛並且可能很美味的約會對象。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">噢,我的工作也的確是在和許多的</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">matrix</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">打交道。只是那些</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">matrix </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">沒那麼詩意而已。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Welcome to the real world. </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">每個星期一早晨心裡常常浮現的同義句。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">句子的語調不見得是沮喪的,自我實現的可能有時和性愛的慾望一樣讓人感到清醒。只是到底哪個才是我的</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">real
world</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">?</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">我很滿意自己的工作環境:優秀好合作的同事,謙虛好溝通的老闆,還有可以看見盆地邊緣山形輪廓的一面窗。而我也大致能夠扮演好自己的角色,一個讓數字說話的人。</span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">然而這個(至少表面上)超級貼合主流性別與關係框架的世界偶爾還是讓我清楚感到自己的格格不入:在這裡BDSM是經驗以外的獵奇事物,或是比較流行的總裁系列;開放式關係則像一篇都市傳說,或是常被人有意無意誤用的哲學定義。</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">嗯,我們還是聊聊</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">102</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 13.5pt;">最近又引進了哪間餐廳好了!</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Welcome to the real world. <br />
OK, I am in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">by </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Jack 2019.4.22</span></div>
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<br />candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-42095143187343801512019-04-19T22:57:00.001+08:002019-04-22T21:08:14.204+08:00【交換日記讀者來稿】開放式v.s.封閉式? #辻泠相遇時早已知道彼此的價值觀天差地遠,<br />
一個佔有慾爆表,恨不得對方身邊所有的異性都消失;<br />
一個大愛儀天下,信奉每場相遇都是生命的養分。<br />
這樣的兩個人,卻又相互暈了船,淪陷在這令人頭痛的情況。<br />
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回到家開了冷氣,一起攤在沙發上,我的頭枕在沙發扶手,腳ㄎㄨㄟˋ在他的大腿上。<br />
閒聊間,我問他「你覺得我們最後會在一起嗎?」<br />
『呵,路還長的很咧。』他丟給我個又好氣又無奈的眼神<br />
「哈哈哈哈,關~關~難~過~啊~」我起身正坐到他身上,摟著他的脖子看著他後腦勺的牆壁發呆。<br />
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「如果當初我們不留感情,純性慾,情況會不會好很多啊?」<br />
『嗯.....感覺最後就還是會,走到現在這種頭大的情況啊。』<br />
「好吧,果然還是會殊途同歸呢www」<br />
當開放式關係主義者,遇上封閉式關係主義者,該怎麼辦呢?<br />
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讓我們繼續看下去。<br />
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by 辻泠 2019.4.19candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-1872058564685038122019-04-16T08:00:00.000+08:002019-04-16T08:00:02.229+08:00【交換日記】明得失(續) #Rabbit<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlAtiiB9kmjPJZ_-51syvofAJzcgi-TYj09fFezTY1krh8RCM4T_MMb7HHJL0ewo6NuEuY-6_qyJha_xAzk40cPdlF0XkZBGgvWwUKetJw6MtA9ciPb3Ia3jGyjSmIdQ9n1eIzlJivIqg/s1600/2798006128_faec0ba0b7_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlAtiiB9kmjPJZ_-51syvofAJzcgi-TYj09fFezTY1krh8RCM4T_MMb7HHJL0ewo6NuEuY-6_qyJha_xAzk40cPdlF0XkZBGgvWwUKetJw6MtA9ciPb3Ia3jGyjSmIdQ9n1eIzlJivIqg/s400/2798006128_faec0ba0b7_o.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/epiic/2798006128/in/photolist-5gfvJY-yk12P-4nDL5b-6oJk4s-4ZH3jN-5ojcrK-4bwmig-3G2y2-QLXcV-9ZsbyV-7hYVby-avybw5-CQJST-asKDVm-7dakJo-8FVcyo-4AuwV1-9i4Ykc-6KvDDZ-nSfAP-jHK8Gd-5HVM73-2d8nwAM-3KHiu-uMnNw-YCZGc1-9bUA1c-ibaHsG-63Lt5R-JesDz-bFw6gV-7ti8d6-aZnfGc-2fiTU-dERcb-X1sX-uYp-defvsu-99upZ-5La8yp-tVtHN-sQfz7-LgbV6-CkxRj-cKDJ9-cMFqjf-a1NPax-4CcAKs-6HXU6X-75nj6f">tschundler</a>, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
崔妮:<br />
<br />
因為最近回想起了自己是個難搞的人,就也開始思考一下,有沒有辦法消除一點自己的難搞?<br />
<br />
就在我用力的想了想之後,的確是有的。如果我在約會前的溝通過程中,可以先多聊一點,而且對話過程是開心的,那就已經建立了對對方的一定好感,那麼見了面之後,就比較能夠放下一些小障礙。接著我再更用力的想了一下,於是我發現我在約會的時候,大多數時候腦袋是沒有安裝好的,都只是依照直覺啦、獸性啦、情緒啦在行動為主。<br />
<br />
當一個事前沒有溝通很多、沒有先建立起一定好感度的對象,在約會中間戳到我時,我會立即情緒性的覺得「天哪這傢伙不行!」。但如果是一個事前聊得不錯的對象,那就比較容易回想起事前溝通中的愉悅,抵銷掉當下的感覺。<br />
<br />
所以是說,我跟AX跟AZ,在第一前約會前,都是事先聊上了半個月的,這還真有幫助。<br />
<br />
但我經常會忘記,好感其實是需要累積的。如果事前真的聊得很少,少到不足以有撐起抵消當下感覺的基礎,那麼我是否有試著,在約會的過程中,盡力表達自己呢?或是當感覺到不行的時候,就這樣算了?<br />
<br />
最近我很好運,有遇到人格特質優秀的人,使約會過程像是提醒了我些什麼(呃…不過這些提醒通常都是約會後才會想到,約會當下還是沒帶腦)。像是願意堅持練習或嘗試新的事物、願意重覆或換句話說來表達意見的人,就幾乎不會在過程中萌生不行的感覺,而更讓人願意繼續下去。像這類普遍的、在坊間很常被推崇的正向特質,但我卻經常忘記我可以主動的這麼做。<br />
<br />
By Rabbit 2019.4.16candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-10489089373894821622019-04-09T08:00:00.000+08:002019-04-09T09:15:04.738+08:00【交換日記】明得失 #Rabbit<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8mXmLA8dy8cEowa2s2ml5mZTeYM7U7CrpNMpt4zJJZGQ7_-PITzp8mGGPOtH2isnW4hJk6PBPYf9vWxRo070V_Y6ezGExv6pM9vJT0633iimQ_fk5xvl6V_iFLylFdDnMQaOQMY9cgQg/s1600/7859749290_805f836858_o_d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8mXmLA8dy8cEowa2s2ml5mZTeYM7U7CrpNMpt4zJJZGQ7_-PITzp8mGGPOtH2isnW4hJk6PBPYf9vWxRo070V_Y6ezGExv6pM9vJT0633iimQ_fk5xvl6V_iFLylFdDnMQaOQMY9cgQg/s320/7859749290_805f836858_o_d.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Janet Bianchini, CC BY-NC 2.0</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
崔妮:<br />
<br />
以人為鏡,可以明得失。<br />
<br />
因為是魏徵,所以唐太宗只要一人就足以明得失。但阿呆如我,身邊也沒有魏徵(可能我也不識貨…),所以我需要很多人才能明,還常常忘記我的得失。去年的下半年,因為太少出去踩地雷,以致於非常自我感覺良好,在這幾天,因為在今年(也還沒過一半)累積了幾個人(一隻手數得完…)的狀況下,總算回想起了我自己是個多麼機歪的人。<br />
<br />
相對於跟性有關的事物,生活瑣事更容易戳到我。約會或做愛的細節,也比較容易事先談妥,比如說戴套、清潔或姿勢之類的,只要不要太脫稿就好。但是兩人在一起的時間還是會遇到一些其他的事,比如說抽煙啦、開車啦、飲食啦…<br />
<br />
就是說,究竟要怎樣才能事前知道,這傢伙的二手煙我聞不下去、那傢伙怎樣都不肯繫安全帶,又或是這傢伙該死的居然會把垃圾隨手亂丟在路上啊!?當然我自己也並非完美,也有許多生活小事常做不好。比如說總是忘記隨手關上水壺的蓋子之類的……<br />
<br />
仔細回想,會讓我約過一次就不想再約的人,幾乎都不是因為性愛的關係,大都是因為這類的瑣事。但會在約會的過程中,對於這類瑣事皺眉,甚至再也不想見到這個人……當站在旁觀者的立場來看待這樣的反應,似乎又太超過、難搞了。<br />
<br />
總之,最近又狠狠的體會到這件事了,至於究竟要不要改改我這個脾氣,就繼續慢慢思考吧。<br />
<br />
所以說,AX跟AZ,真的很厲害啊……Orz<br />
<br />
by Rabbit 2019.4.9candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-42438000804185856682019-03-27T01:52:00.001+08:002019-03-27T01:59:07.535+08:00【交換日記】聊色,好嗎?(續) #Rabbit<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPkL0n_sA3QZ6SCs-hLH7CV6tGsSL-PYnHhel_puf_cU5nAT-C2_hcKNHSPv_sg9nzXm-YsVhb2b6khRCZVVzv2dwSQkjjz3-wRNgIjKuZWqS_0Q09rK4JI7ZfzY_hWhGiBAz0ayxW9Gg/s1600/69383653_8cd68e78c5_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPkL0n_sA3QZ6SCs-hLH7CV6tGsSL-PYnHhel_puf_cU5nAT-C2_hcKNHSPv_sg9nzXm-YsVhb2b6khRCZVVzv2dwSQkjjz3-wRNgIjKuZWqS_0Q09rK4JI7ZfzY_hWhGiBAz0ayxW9Gg/s400/69383653_8cd68e78c5_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/pimboula/69383653/">Romain Pittet</a>, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
崔妮:<br />
<br />
看了妳的文,我開始反省,是否我造成了別人的失衡……<br />
<br />
就在台北國際書展不潮了之後,我開始尋找新話題。雖然我吃東西的取向跟兔子很像,以蔬菜為主,但在臺本本的取向上,眾所皆知,我是無肉不歡、特愛奇幻的!<br />
<br />
==========聊天對象3==========<br />
他:hi<br />
我:你好,請問您願意與其他男性進行耽美的動作嗎?<br />
他:?????<br />
我:這樣都聽不懂的話我們很難聊下去啊<br />
(對方沉默)<br />
<br />
好吧,可能我嗆人嗆太快,修正一下…<br />
<br />
==========聊天對象4==========<br />
(聊了一陣子開場白,要開始聊色了)<br />
他:所以妳有偏好什麼樣的對象嗎?<br />
我:我其實一直很想跟觸手來一次<br />
他:觸手!!??<br />
我:對啊,觸手<br />
他:可是我沒有耶…<br />
我:那就不用了,謝謝你跟我聊天(自以為很有禮貌)<br />
<br />
當然不是每次都這麼和平收場,有時候會遇到一些人,對於我的發言表示不悅,或是試圖說服我些什麼。但我現在已經進入到一個,寧可講自己想講的話,也不會想讓對話框以保持和平為第一考慮。但有一次,在極想睡的狀況下,還是不小心沒控制好了…<br />
<br />
==========聊天對象5==========<br />
他:喜歡刺激的性愛嗎?<br />
我:怎樣刺激?<br />
他:就性愛啊<br />
我:我是說怎樣刺激<br />
他:妳不懂嗎?<br />
我:不懂啊,所以我們是要上演追逐戰嗎?或是要來點競賽之類的?還是一些驚悚甚至是血腥的元素?<br />
他:妳根本不喜歡做愛吧?<br />
<br />
求這些聊天對象的心理陰影面積…<br />
<br />
by Rabbit 2019.3.27candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-61255887493942026342019-03-14T09:00:00.000+08:002019-03-14T09:00:04.803+08:00【交換日記】三位成鼎 #崔妮<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijn_NKsl9Za6W_dBbXlOIoaviUqGJqV0cTHpdevD1WGnb7jTYFKbDRPuXPIa_sunQOqCfFyIqKDcPKUqvqFKffYLV3HPJ7jIdRKC8mir8cwt25sFerhDkoWtrzme6wp-nc19J1Vb2m7u0/s1600/2059803156_6a189ec5a6_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijn_NKsl9Za6W_dBbXlOIoaviUqGJqV0cTHpdevD1WGnb7jTYFKbDRPuXPIa_sunQOqCfFyIqKDcPKUqvqFKffYLV3HPJ7jIdRKC8mir8cwt25sFerhDkoWtrzme6wp-nc19J1Vb2m7u0/s320/2059803156_6a189ec5a6_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption">Photo from <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/bibubl/">用心阁</a> (CC BY-NC 2.0)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /><br />Rabbit:<br /><br />我已經好久沒有在花花世界中遊蕩了,最近的感情關係處在非常平衡、滿足的狀態,恩~就是幸福吧!原本不太敢講出來跟大家分享,怕講了之後反而開始走下坡(迷信?),又怕會不會太幸福被討厭(什麼心態?),但朋友也說,大家會為你開心啊~這也是給其他人一點盼頭。<br /><br />妳知道我的英文名字是Trini,當初是來自電影演員,我只覺得特別,沒好好查過,後來才有人問我,這跟Trinity有關嗎?那是基督教裡三位一體的意思(聖父、聖子、聖靈為同一本體,from wiki),我並非基督教徒,也從未想過跟三位一體的關係,但往後卻非常湊巧的發現,我常常如「鼎」一樣,需要三根底座才站得穩。<br /><br />似乎總有三份工作,無論是為了賺錢或是為了興趣。<br /><br />連感情也是,三個伴侶讓我有完整的感受,發現不同伴侶之於我的意義,滿足感情生活的全部需求,我從未想過,如今能有三段關係讓我感覺平衡與幸福,<br /><br />生活伴侶最常見面相處,生活上溫柔待我,知道許多生活瑣事,雖然之前常因溝通問題爭吵,但逐漸改善,只是我不太知道這段關係會走向哪裡。<br /><br />精神伴侶時間最長,就是彼此人生中的一部份沒有二話,對我不輕易被人察覺的情感情緒變化非常敏銳,感情一直都很好,但生活一直都很遠,可以說是不同世界。<br /><br />人生伴侶則有著共同的未來想法,最能無話不談,互相幫忙,互相依賴但又各自獨立,兩個都很需要自己空間的人,又是想一起走下去的人。<br /><br />我總是在追求平衡感耶!或許正因為我經常失衡,才更特別注意或希望從平衡中找到平靜。<br /><br />我的伴侶們,以及Rabbit小姐,白色情人節快樂囉!<br /><br />崔妮<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">2019.3.14</span></div>
崔妮http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393668388793008716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-59553378759566836812019-03-12T09:48:00.000+08:002019-03-13T20:32:57.151+08:00【交換日記】聊色,好嗎? #Rabbit<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwu5_qnTbrG6iW5GAe8SZH4KFREB7dDoO3iKSlMrtjIFE80WSe5tU9u3m1iEO8y8AQBssPNws4C7TF5WbJ6-jqfUaUbAnMYFsc11lA1pGAUy5k3TD6MSeCduE6pQd4i9eZm6H4KdKGDE0/s1600/4235339510_3b87b74c1d_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="850" data-original-width="1280" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwu5_qnTbrG6iW5GAe8SZH4KFREB7dDoO3iKSlMrtjIFE80WSe5tU9u3m1iEO8y8AQBssPNws4C7TF5WbJ6-jqfUaUbAnMYFsc11lA1pGAUy5k3TD6MSeCduE6pQd4i9eZm6H4KdKGDE0/s320/4235339510_3b87b74c1d_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/echo9er/4235339510/in/photolist-7sgdT1-e711nt-22KJ3Ze-bBCpTe-EtT4G-5bLhw-m3HPSe-pi49i-s9YxNT-qReBEC-YEfwks-6PH3B9-zubecq-4gurjk-a7FYY-74qLLE-2NP1Dj-afqbJ2-nBs8Uv-pEMgxq-5Uh32i-6yPhCc-f2FefH-QQtyq2-FkdYQk-eeK5GG-qyXsH-8Lsnob-2ade7sg-bwy4dn-4srh3x-9JrpWD-SA8YSn-5RJaW-czCkp-of3kJf-HHXPx5-2aBGuEK-DJjxW-8RH36o-J1quHJ-4oqeAC-EUurab-2c6uiQT-8cMNc3-YatW1Q-21RtGDW-pCAypB-edj17q-QDjGP4">Echo9er</a>, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
這麼久沒寫交換日記的我在做什麼呢?當然是持續努力的在這個花花世界中遊蕩啊!<br />
<br />
遊蕩也要有新方法,我決定在交友介面上主動推薦自己喜愛的事物,練習搶先發話題,也更積讓新朋友瞭解自己。總之就是有一天我吃飽太閒,突然想到,既然都有人可以喜愛某種酸甜飲料,喜歡到花了兩百萬在直轄市長政見發表會上宣傳這個飲料,那麼,我是否也可以略盡我的綿薄之力,在我(不花錢的)各種管道上宣傳我所喜愛的事物呢?<br />
<br />
我決定先從台北國際書展開始。過完年後就是台北國際書展,我本來就是固定會去書展逛逛的人,加上拆框工作坊這次有協助《道德浪女》的打書,因此對書展的參與感與認同度也大大提高,很好!就從這個開始!<br />
<br />
心動不如開始行動!於是,我開始又有這個興致,在交友app上跟人聊天了(之前都很死氣沉沉,不想回話這樣)。<br />
<br />
==========聊天對象1==========<br />
他:hi,聊色嗎?<br />
我:別管色了,你知道台北國際書展嗎?<br />
他:??<br />
我:就是每年都會在世貿舉辦的台北國際書展<br />
(對方已離開)<br />
<br />
呃,好吧,可能我太直接了,修正一下…<br />
<br />
==========聊天對象2==========<br />
我:(搶先發言)hi你好,平常有什麼興趣呢?<br />
他:遊戲、電影,還有做愛之類的<br />
我:最近在舉辦的台北國際書展,會有很多這一類的相關好書喔!<br />
他:沒興趣看書耶<br />
我:(換我離開)<br />
<br />
總之,我在某個app上,就這樣話不投機半句多了不少人,台北國際書展也就這樣結束了(默)。<br />
<br />
好吧,畢竟這是個季節限定的話題,可能大家都是希望聊點常態的事吧(屁啦)?於是乎,我想了想我自己有什麼常態的、喜愛的事,可以拿來當先發話題。<br />
<br />
想來想去,只有BL,以及對一些瑣碎小事的莫名堅持。<br />
<br />
(待續)<br />
<br />
by Rabbit 2019.3.12candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-90848886199474732772019-03-08T00:48:00.005+08:002019-04-19T22:55:17.837+08:00【交換日記讀者來稿】2019.3.9 #紅樺<br />
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">吃飯。說到約會通常大多跟食物會有一些連帶的想像,不論是咖啡茶飲或著下午茶正餐,要放入口的東西在約會時不只可以帶來想像也可以體現出薰陶一個人的文化背景和教養。比如一人一菜的自煮聚會,夜市小吃偏好交流,到巷口路邊攤陽春麵或度小月台北分店擔仔麵,光是對食物的選擇和敘述就可以抽出很多細節來觀察。我個人是偏好自煮派,不吃辣喜歡米食和均衡的蔬菜,以消滅冰箱庫存為目標來吃的自煮派。</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "新細明體" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "新細明體" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">很多習慣不一樣但目前的男友喜歡自煮,他會以足量的蛋白質為餐點主要考量,偏好印度風辛香料口味,喜歡搭配泰國米,喜歡用鑄鐵鍋的手感(?),喜歡和人類一起吃飯的氣氛。基於期待和期望食物完美的上桌經常準備幾乎雙倍的食材,他是個喜歡聽廣播做菜的人,所以爆香的材料上桌時經常是沒有味道的黑炭狀,他珍惜和眼前的人互動更甚於對食材的珍惜,所以他餐盤中的剩食幾乎常常慘不忍睹,隔夜的食物或著每一次開火的剩料在我們剛認識的時候幾乎可以讓我營養均衡的吃足兩到三餐。</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "新細明體" , "serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: 新細明體; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">我這星期忙到完全沒時間煮,昨天我第一次看到他把冰箱裡放了一星期的蔥拿出來爆香炒胡蘿蔔,最後的餐盤也吃得乾乾淨淨只留一塊完整的胡蘿蔔,這個成長幅度讓我不禁覺得有些感動,認真教他愛惜食物還是有用的。(我要許願下一個願望是學會到傳統市場採購當地食材、從食材省錢還有與同居人共同管理冰箱。同時食物維持一樣的好吃。)</span></div>
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by 紅樺 2019.3.9</div>
<br />candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-14015006444832571152019-02-17T15:11:00.001+08:002019-02-17T15:14:21.777+08:00[心得]道德浪女(第三版)(感謝作者aju授權分享)<br />
<br />
帶著新婚的太太參加2017年新竹場的開放式關係座談會,<br />
感謝推薦此書給我的拆框工作坊,感謝崔尼&兔兔長久來的努力,<br />
<br />
經過了那麼久,終於將這兩本書入手<br />
<a href="https://imgur.com/MdBi7JG">https://imgur.com/MdBi7JG</a><br />
<br />
其實我們交往10年結婚近兩年,現在第一個孩子即將出生,<br />
都是符合傳統社會價值的一對一關係。<br />
<br />
但是我一直發現許多跡象,就是感覺怪怪的 怪怪der<br />
<br />
社會對於一對一伴侶制度認定是唯一正確的模式,<br />
為什麼有那麼多情侶、夫妻出現劈腿外遇,卻屢見不鮮造成無數悲劇。<br />
<br />
在美國結婚的人有將近五成離婚收場,<br />
書中提到金賽博士的報告70%婚姻或伴侶有婚外性行為。<br />
一個70%以上人無法遵守的規則,我認為很明顯制度本身有毛病。<br />
<br />
從自己的經驗中,和女友交往時也會對別人產生興趣或慾望,<br />
然後就必須面對如浪潮席捲而來的罪惡感、總是壓抑著慾望祈求它快點走開。<br />
<br />
到底做錯什麼,要承受這些,是我有問題還是整個世界有毛病。<br />
帶著滿滿的疑惑,參加了2017年的那場座談會。<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
今天下午看完【道德浪女】一書,我的疑惑大概都被解開了,以下是讀書心得的部分。<br />
<br />
談【道德】,<br />
基本上 誠實、善良、你情我願、沒有人受傷受委屈之下的關係,<br />
都可以算是符合基本的道德。<br />
<br />
所以一對一關係是符合道德的,但是並非唯一的。<br />
但現今社會主流將一對一視為唯一,不符合主流價值觀就會遭受許多莫名的攻擊。<br />
<br />
獲得結論一:這社會有毛病,導致很多人腦子出毛病,代表如那些萌萌們。<br />
<br />
談【浪女】,<br />
這詞有原本有貶意,我覺得書中將其重新定義為『順應自身慾望且付諸行動的人們』,<br />
並非單指女性,而是所有性別性傾向的人都通用。<br />
<br />
人天生有七情六欲,想打炮錯了嗎?社會長期污名化『性』的需求,<br />
從小教導探索身體是羞恥的,性是充滿罪惡感的。<br />
<br />
記得小時候無聊玩自己小雞雞馬上被大人喝止,並且教育這是羞恥的,<br />
無聊玩手指腳趾,挖鼻孔扣肚臍都沒事,唯獨碰小雞雞有毛病。<br />
<br />
越是壓抑,不善溝通與表達,就越容易走向錯誤的路。<br />
<br />
書中提到自我的探索,探索自己的情緒與身體,<br />
去發現那些情緒反應的背後到底發生了什麼,<br />
<br />
然後我明白了,沒有必要為自己慾望感到罪惡,<br />
想跟太太的以外的人做那些事,不應該偷偷摸摸然後懊惱不已,<br />
<br />
但現今社會價值觀,應該說官方版的『感情藍圖』沒有這條路,<br />
滿足慾望除了劈腿、偷吃,然後受眾人唾棄以外,好像沒選擇了。<br />
<br />
思考這麼多年的無解之題,在這書中點出了方向,猶如苦海明燈。<br />
<br />
是的,書中說此題有解,開放關係確實有許多前輩一直在走下去,<br />
踏入沒有藍圖的領域是很惶恐無助的,書中給出的方法也是作者自己的經驗集大成,<br />
<br />
於是懷著善良、誠實、禮貌的去跟太太談這事,<br />
『我想跟妳朋友嘿咻』<br />
『我可以去追求其它人嗎?但是我還是一樣愛妳哦』<br />
<br />
近幾年獲得的回應都是一樣的,NO!<br />
人生還很漫長,我想我會繼續努力試試<br />
<div>
<br />
-------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
《道德浪女》讀書心得募集中,歡迎寄到 chaikuang.tw@gmail.com 跟我們大家分享!<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
崔妮http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393668388793008716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-80882091412306766042019-02-07T19:27:00.001+08:002019-02-07T19:27:35.301+08:00【交換日記】春節現身誰最大 #崔妮<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBI0lem5a3hey2yXsLqlpivHfXSLAPkZ0p-1oAU5__AL6zBLc07AH7jy7hM3Cbn5RIEKhRuaE1S-fYxhM8S0_3vcTPVd0TVRSwcN_OGsUPPBd-kMhKj6ZFLP0YCl8Dgj9uY3c6tugZXDo/s1600/P_20190205_202510.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBI0lem5a3hey2yXsLqlpivHfXSLAPkZ0p-1oAU5__AL6zBLc07AH7jy7hM3Cbn5RIEKhRuaE1S-fYxhM8S0_3vcTPVd0TVRSwcN_OGsUPPBd-kMhKj6ZFLP0YCl8Dgj9uY3c6tugZXDo/s320/P_20190205_202510.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by 崔妮</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />各位實踐者們,以及關心我們的朋友們,今天都已經農曆初三啦!!<br /><br />不知道農曆春節,大家過得如何?需要回老家的要回去幾天呢?又需要見多少親戚呢?跟親戚聊些什麼呢?<br /><br />今年在農曆春節之前做「道德浪女」的新書宣傳一輪下來,跟讀者們分享不少自己過去跌跌撞撞的經驗,也喚起一個多年前的回憶。<br /><br />就像感情穩定或是準備要結婚的男女朋友們,過年可能會去見對方父母,參加親戚聚會一樣,在多重關係裡,過年帶誰去見親戚也可能是大事,在長輩親戚面前公開現身,某程度會跟「主要關係」的地位有關。<br /><br />畢竟,社會還沒有開放到容許我們帶著三個伴侶提著禮盒,一起回家跟親戚們宣告:這是我的男女朋友(們)。所以,要麻我們是有一個比較明確的主要伴侶,視同於一對一關係裡的配偶或是穩定交往對象,要麻就是各自回自己家,誰也別陪誰,在親戚面前當作萬年單身或是有交往對象但永遠沒空或不適合出現。<br /><br />老實說,當年的我是一個希望透過在親戚面前現身,好證明自己是「主要關係」地位的人,那一年,某任前男友W有我跟B女兩個女友(當時我們的認知是他有兩個主要關係),過年快到,W的表姊在過年後結婚請客,過年期間家族裡要動起來幫忙張羅,當時交往一年,我也不排斥見親戚,當時心裡還有那種「想證明自己是大老婆」的心態,見親戚感覺是在他的家人面前公開,公開的那個就是大老婆啊!!!(大概是這種心情)<br /><br />但B女也想要跟W攜手公開,但W壓根不想讓親戚知道他有兩個女友啊,後來分別商量的結論(當時的狀態比較像是他分別有兩個女友,女友們知道對方,但事情無法一起討論),是兩個女友都不要出現,我就回家過年了。<br /><br />我後來知道B女從過年就住到W家去,不要說一路幫忙到了表姊結婚請客......。<br />我想這就是當年最後爆炸的引爆點。<br /><br />我想說的是,過年這種要跟親戚聚會的節日,對於多重伴侶者來說,就跟同志一樣有個櫃子要藏好,只要沒達成共識,有人不遵守共識,破壞力也是很厲害,另一個討人厭的情境,就是在家族中公開的伴侶,會被自動帶入一對一關係的預設裡,所以可以公開的那個,好像從他人身上拿到某種地位的認可,也是有可能再回過頭期待或要求伴侶給自己某種優先權,當然也包括自己在關係中的安全感吧。<br /><br />只是,這一切求諸於外的安全感,又真的牢靠嗎?<br /><br />崔妮<br />2019/2/7<div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></div>
崔妮http://www.blogger.com/profile/09393668388793008716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1944328192119812956.post-80919675309841115272019-02-05T23:15:00.004+08:002019-02-07T19:27:46.885+08:00【交換日記】腥年恭喜! #Rabbit<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmMkIPUl7WgXPHO05clAZhAB-FBq34zJuEv4EINkQhuc7NzR-1LW3jgm6VhLe0m_I9uBEUEPRRh9FgytGeZiq507NhDGefgTl76fqq6aRQIJzhUzHYpZV8nbiqnJprvlLGARKM-FuH0J0/s1600/20190205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="684" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmMkIPUl7WgXPHO05clAZhAB-FBq34zJuEv4EINkQhuc7NzR-1LW3jgm6VhLe0m_I9uBEUEPRRh9FgytGeZiq507NhDGefgTl76fqq6aRQIJzhUzHYpZV8nbiqnJprvlLGARKM-FuH0J0/s400/20190205.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/keso/459668724/">keso s</a>, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
各位實踐者們,以及雖然不是實踐者但仍關心著我們的朋友們,農曆新年又要到啦!!<br />
<br />
農曆新年是一段很長的假期,在習俗上也是個要互相拜年、與親戚團聚的時候,而隨著通訊科技的發達,也有許多人明明不是那麼親近,也可以簡單的傳個貼圖,或是把一些風景圖給美編一下,上些「新年快樂恭喜發財」的標楷體,然後變成自己的電(長)子(輩)賀(圖)卡,在通訊軟體上傳來傳去。<br />
<br />
我有一個群組,不是親戚的,是算是工作上的,總之群組裡的人就是工作上的配合還可以,但是私交上就沒有很熟,不過有幾個群友,偶爾就是會傳一些長輩圖來祝福大家早安午安晚安,有時候也會貼一些無關緊要的新聞給大家這樣。這種群組,我相信大家的line裡都有幾個,就不再多作描述。<br />
<br />
總之,我在這個群組裡收到了,高雄燈會佛光山蓮花燈的新聞訊息。 (示意新聞,非當事訊息:<a href="https://tw.news.yahoo.com/%E6%84%9B%E6%B2%B3%E7%87%88%E6%9C%83%E9%87%91%E9%8A%80%E6%B2%B3%E8%B6%95%E5%B7%A5-%E5%88%9D%E4%BA%94%E6%AD%A3%E5%BC%8F%E7%99%BB%E5%A0%B4-120647385.html">https://tw.news.yahoo.com/%E6%84%9B%E6%B2%B3%E7%87%88%E6%9C%83%E9%87%91%E9%8A%80%E6%B2%B3%E8%B6%95%E5%B7%A5-%E5%88%9D%E4%BA%94%E6%AD%A3%E5%BC%8F%E7%99%BB%E5%A0%B4-120647385.html</a>)<br />
<br />
一般人在工作群組中看到這類東東,應該都是沒什麼反應吧?特別是如果是觀點不同的話,通常也是心裡暗幹幾句,不至於在這種群組裡跟大家挑明著講。可是因為我當時剛好重感冒,吃了感冒藥後神智不清,於是乎,我說出了我的心裡話。<br />
<br />
「我覺得這是愛情摩天輪的補償方案,讓善男信女可以在上面觀音坐蓮」<br />
<br />
於是乎,接著的這幾天,我的其他群組都不斷的跳出新年相關的賀圖,然而這個群組全都一片寂靜…………<br />
<br />
ps、老實說,我自己也知道這個回應實在太黃了,所以後來以我們都以收回發言而告終<br />
<br />
by Rabbit 2018.2.5candyflorarabbithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03541697160650239546noreply@blogger.com0